there are many better options for satirical content -- and funnier too.
By New Times
By Connor Radnovich
By Robrt L. Pela and Amy Silverman
By Ray Stern
By Keegan Hamilton
By Matthew Hendley
By Monica Alonzo
By Monica Alonzo
Editor's note: Okay, the jig's up. No, silly, Steve Nash isn't quitting the Phoenix Suns to go into Canadian politics, as our "Gone" cover story claimed last week. Not just yet, anyhow. Though his tongue was firmly in cheek when he was asked about our article, Nash said: "Obviously, I'll be prime minister one day." As usual with one of our infrequent satirical stories, some readers bought it, others didn't. Some thought the story was funny, some thought it was stupid, some played along, some hated on us. Read a sample of reader comments, mostly from our Web site, below.
Happy for Nash: Great human being. The Suns are going nowhere this year, and I'm happy for Steve.
Canada's gain: Basketball is losing not only one of its greatest players, but also its most eloquent voice. Our loss is Canada's gain. Thanks for all the great years, Steve!
Couldn't blame Nash for leaving AZ: Good for him. After what happened in AZ this week (election of the likes of Governor Jan Brewer and state Senator Russell Pearce), I don't blame him one bit, and Victoria is a gorgeous city!
To the Raptors: This is Nash-ty. He couldn't just ask for a trade to the Raptors? Really?
You'll think of something: As a native of Victoria, I can honestly say I don't know what to think about this.
Don't listen to the Canadian media: TV and radio stations all over Canada are confirming this story is completely true. They're running interviews with the man who sold Nash his new home in Victoria, also the current mayor of Victoria who says he's Nash's biggest fan.
Beat, er, bomb L.A.: Nash will become the Canadian prime minister and then declare war on Los Angeles.
Gotcha: New Times had me for a minute there! These writers didn't do much to capitalize on the resignation this week of, not Victoria, but Vancouver Mayor Gordon Campbell. If one wants to imagine Steve Nash as mayor of Victoria, then Victoria compares to metropolis Vancouver as Long Island compares to metropolis NYC. I'm sure if Canadians wanted a sports star as PM, they'd take Wayne Gretzky. Steve Nash did say he wouldn't play for Canada again, so we should believe him.
Godspeed, eh?: Thank you, Steve, for your passion for the game and for the Suns. Godspeed, eh.
Be nice, Gus: New Times, way to support the local team, dick!
And who should replace us?You?: Whoever wrote this story is a moron, and you need to learn how to verify your information. Everyone connected with publishing this story should be fired immediately. You're making journalists everywhere look like they are all full of shit like you.
See ya, Rog: I've been an avid reader of your magazine for over 15 years, but I will never read it again. I should have been smarter than to think that you would have any integrity about a sports story. I was duped by my own stupidity.
See ya, Marc: Thanks for wasting my time on a pointless hoax article. This will be the last time I read New Times.
See the irony?: So here's how this thing works, everyone. Barry Friedman writes a brilliant article. Everyone believes it. Then everyone finds out Friedman has totally played them — yet again. Upon finding out they are officially fools, they get insanely mad and write nasty letters. Yes, of course, all the reporters and editors will quit because you are angry. Yes, we all know this free paper is just not giving you your money's worth, and furthermore, you just can't trust New Times for reliable information anymore — like you can with what you normally read: Guns & Ammo? Hustler? Calm yourselves, alarmed citizens of Phoenix. Steve Nash totally got this article and laughed about it on TV. See the irony there? The guy the article is about is enjoying it, but all of you are cranky.
You're allowed only one copy: This is why, when I see New Times at a newsstand, I grab every copy and throw it in the garbage where it belongs. Eff off, Barry.
Hilarious:Geez, nobody appreciates good satire. Hilarious article.
Rude: Kevin Garnett says that Barry Friedman writes like a cancer patient. Rude.
No one will forget Nash: Thank you, Steve, for putting up with the bullshit that Robert Sarver fed to you . . . You deserve a ring, and I have hope to see you achieve that glory. Thank you for the years of excitement and the times we will never forget as Suns fans. You truly are the MVP, and no one will forget it.
A loss for AZ: Wow, what a loss for basketball, for Arizona. Congrats, Canada.
From the grave . . .: Satire isn't satire if you can't tell it's satire.
Back at ya, Swift:Satire isn't satire if you're a moron and can't distinguish satire from reality.
Good riddance:Good for him. And once he is there, as mayor, we can send all the illegal border crossers directly to his sanctuary city and he can feed them, support them, and give them free socialized medicine. After all, he was the mouthpiece for Los Suns, speaking out for the freeloading undocumented fans. Attaboy, Los Stefano. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.
there are many better options for satirical content -- and funnier too.
Dear customers, thank you for your support of our company.Here, there's good news to tell you: The company recentlylaunched a number of new fashion items! ! Fashionableand welcome everyone to come buy. If necessary,welcome to :===== www. ongoin.com ========T-shirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $14New era cap $10
Air jordan(1-24)shoes $30
Handbags(Coach,ed hardy,lv,d&g) $35
Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $35
Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $18
Gosh, judging from the insanely pissed off people who read New Times regularly but write constantly to berate it, I was wondering: did they get that warning about eating paint chips that was issued about forty years ago?
And that's the beauty of the New Times, our local anti-establishment, anti-law enforcement, anti-any thing that makes sense rag. If something they print isn't true they'll just claim it was a satirical piece aimed at getting readers to, "think outside the box." My only question is what other nonsense pieces have they printed that their idiot readers now take for gospel?
Lol..... Some of these people are RETARDED hahahahaha.
I'm stoned ALL the time and even I got the joke..... So much for stoners being dumb..... Lol
Dear customers, thank you for your support of our company.Here, there's good news to tell you: The company recentlylaunched a number of new fashion items! ! Fashionableand welcome everyone to come buy. If necessary,welcome to :===== www. ongoin.com ========
Not sure I can read the Phoenix New Times and believe much of what you guys say anymore. I thought it was frowned on to publish hoax articles any other day than April 1st. I'm glad I didn't read the whole thing.
Yawn..people make this big deal about a guy being able to put an orange ball into a hoop; give the guy millions of dollars. Well, the people that believe that this is part of the meaning of life...put ball in hoop, scratch butt, put ball in hoop again and find that exciting, will miss oh what's his name..
i'm new to AZ but don't get why the new times insists on being such as joke. i get being tongue in cheek, but writing this crap following some very important elections that will have an impact on our state for years to come, putting out bad info as a 'joke' just seems juvenile. leave the humor to 'the onion.'
dear new times, could you just try for relevance -- free papers in other cities can have real journalism and real impact. currently yours is mostly only good for people who read the ads at the back.
Love to see that even in this article about Nash, you are not able to leave politics alone. Still have to throw in the liberal BS about Brewer and Pierce. Glad to see you are so "objective" This state will never be handed over to the losers you would like to see running it, so get over it.
@distillerman,he was not the only one in that shirt.and it was not to support illegals,it was in solidarity against sb1070,an unjust,unconstitutional and racist law,that has thus far made no impact on keeping or getting illegals out.if brewer had focused on the border,like goddard is still doing,it wouldn't have been so contraversial,and the :los suns" shirts would have never been printed.and by the way,"free socialized medicine" is an oxymoron.it is paid for through a common tax.just like our socialist postal service,socialist police forces,our socialist military,the socialist roads on which we drive,the socialist fire and rescue departments,the socialist v.a.,the socialist electric grid et cetera et cetera.stop using socialist and socialism as slurs.it is all throughout our country. .
Yup, you got a point there.."free socialized medicine" I guess police and fire department are evil socialism too? I wonder if there are people out there that believe having "free library services" is a commie plot or something? If I hear one more person that doesn't have a clue say the word socialism, because, Beck said it on TV and it must be true..I'll scream.
The media in our day and age is really no different than in the past. They've always been liars, in the pocket of the PTB. They tell you what they want you to believe and act like they actually know what they're talking about. I used to enjoy reading the New Times. They seemed like what you might have wanted in a newspaper, investigative and not afraid to report what really happened. Thanks New Times. You're no different than the Az Repugnance or the Washington Poster. It's all garbage. This story wasn't funny. It was tasteless. Congratulations.