By Monica Alonzo
By Stephen Lemons
By Jason P. Woodbury
By Dulce Paloma Baltazar Pedraza
By Ray Stern
By Pete Kotz
By Monica Alonzo
By New Times
Actually, you have done me a favor.
There are two people I totally despise (if I were trying to be cute, I would say I hate to use the word "hate"). I have sent them each the following e-mail:
Dear Bruce/Dear Phil:
I know we have had our differences over the years, and the likelihood that we will ever be friends is closer to the none side of "slim and none."
Certainly, we will never be spending any money on each other. However, in order to at least tone down the rhetoric, I would like to do something decent, especially since it won't cost me anything — and with today's technology, I don't even have to buy a stamp.
I know how much you used to like Mexican food (I presume that's still true), as do I. I've eaten at a handful of mediocre places, some that were average, and a few that I rate as very good. But, until last week, I never had found one I would call excellent, to the point that I found it to be a five-star establishment.
Well, my search is over. You should run (don't just walk) to Tradiciones. I have already directed four people there and each one has called me by the next morning. If you don't have an experience that is unbelievable, I will be shocked.
Now, here's the only problem, Michele. They have such poor taste that they might like it. However, I am hoping that they find it so unbelievably bad that while sitting there, the only thing they can think of is, "I can't believe what that son of a bitch did to me." And, if either Bruce or Phil calls/writes to tell me that not only do I not have any taste, but neither do the four people who called me, I will tell them that if they read my message carefully, they will see that I never gave a reason for their calls and that, in point of fact, three of them were cursing at me because they had food poisoning.
Philip Barnett, Scottsdale
A stale recommendation: I recommended Tradiciones to a friend a couple of months ago. He later texted me, asking what he had done to anger me, and he stated that he thought we were friends. He continued, saying that the food was horrible and barely edible. I defended my recommendation, saying I had been there many times, although it had been a while, and he knew nothing about Mexican food. It appears my recommendation is stale. I feel disappointed and exonerated.
Spanked for our opinions: They announced that they would no longer be serving freshly made tortillas at the height of the SB 1070 hubbub, as if we were being spanked for our opinions. At that point, I said goodbye to Tradiciones, I don't need that kind of judgmental shit from people who are trying to get my money.
Looks like others are catching up.
Gurn Blanston, city unavailable
Glad to never have eaten there: Remember hearing about the major layoffs Ranch Market did a few months ago because of immigration "paperwork"? They had to get rid of all the illegals working there, I know, because I knew of some of them. I am only assuming they got rid of most, if not all, the people working the kitchen at the restaurant. Now they've hired a lot of people from South America to work in their stores, so they probably did the same with the restaurant. Not to offend anyone, but South Americans don't cook Mexican food all that well. Not easy to run a kitchen, much less one that size.
Now I am glad I never visited that place. Even though I am Mexican, I've always found that places like this mostly cater to "I hate you because you're Mexican, but will stuff my face with anything with cheese" white people and do not serve very authentic Mexican food. This crap only seems great to those who don't know any better. Chilaquiles with a blob of American cheese? Please. When I want good Mex, I go to my Mom's house or visit some off-the-wall place.
JUST A HOAX
What do you expect from a "trash rag?": Before I knew it was a hoax ("Gone," Barry Friedman, November 4), I just shrugged. After I knew it was a hoax, I thought it was funny.
That being said, this is yet one more example of why the New Times is just another trash rag. Does anyone really expect anything else from a paper whose parent company produces that other well-known trash rag the Village Voice.
I do read New Times from time to time, but only in the same way one might drink booze to get drunk. It ain't medicinal, it's entertainment. Anyone who takes any content that New Times produces seriously should have [his] head examined.
Backpage and finding out what band is playing where is about the only thing the New Times is truly good for. And even that could be B.S. sometimes. Pfff.
Too bad it's not true: With the way Nash has been playing, I wish [it] were true. Hey, it was a funny idea to do this, since — if ever he were to retire for politics — this would be the perfect time. The team is going nowhere this year.
Glad he laughed this hoax off, though. Made me like him and the Suns a lot more. He's getting old, but he's a class act. And so is the team.
Loved their Los Suns campaign. Way to stand up to the rednecks!! The Suns and New Times have a lot in common. They're both fighting for what's right in this desert.
Bored by the hoax: Another poorly done hoax. You haven't had a good one since humidermy ("Forever Yours," Esteban Sauer, October 28. 2004) or "Arm the Homeless" ("Give Piece a Chance," David Holthouse, April 1, 1999). Yawn.
Jeez, why all the outrage?: I disagree that New Times hasn't had a good hoax since humidermy. I liked the Anna Nicole Smith one ("Tohono O'odham with Love," Charles Tatum, March 8, 2007), in which it was claimed that she had a Native-American love child. Also the Michael Jackson one ("I Killed Jacko," Joseph Rossi, July 9, 2009).
This latest one was pretty good. Believable, since Steve Nash is such a goody-two-shoes. But it's not my favorite.
Yet I've got to say: Why the outrage, folks? It's just satire. Funny, how sensitive people get when one of their sports heroes is focused upon. Guys, sports isn't that all-fired important. Get over it; it's a joke.
Even Steve Nash and the Suns found it humorous. They got it because they're cool. You fools who have gotten your panties in a bunch definitely are not.
Richard Garrity, city unavailable