Big Brain Awards 2011: Meet the Winners

Tomato

To steal a line from some other Wayne detractor:

WMR squared = Pie R Arttard

Jeeze, he must have pissed a lot of people off. Probably because he can't shut the fuck up! He always talks about detating points he's made. But he has made no legitimate ones. His points are based on his own delusions, or outright lies.

Wayne Michael Reich

Tomato!!!

Thank God you're back- I was ever so lonely without you.

"Outright lies"- other than your statement being an outright lie itself, your attempted misdirecting slander is just well..completely asinine.

I may cry from the sheer stupidity of it.

The beauty of my having provided links (regarding the points I've raised) is that anyone with five minutes to kill can easily verify or disprove what I have said.

(It's called doing research- maybe you've heard of it?)

If I really was fabricating all this out of air and ether, I'm quite sure someone would have proved it by now, and more than once.

Why haven't you?Did you lose all your "evidence" on the way to the Internet?

Since most intelligent people make up their own minds by weighing facts, not rhetoric- I really have nothing to fear from you.

You're a Troll, my sassy, brassy, Tomato- anonymous, cowardly, and not too bright.

But that's okay- I love you even more when you're dumb.till then, SMOOCHES!

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

PS: I look forward to reading the responses to this from your other anonymous aliases, as I've really missed them

Wayne Michael Reich

Oh Tomato?

Two things-

First: that last line should read "PS: I look forward to reading the responses to this from your other anonymous aliases, as I've really missed them too."

Sorry about that, I've been carving all day and my hands are totally jacked.

Second: Asimple query- if I'm lying and/or delusional... why have you been paying so much attention to what I've been saying?

Were you just so offended by it that you've had to respond across THREE SEPARATE FORUMS to let me know?

[cue the lame / unbelievable / bullspit response!]

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

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Docbob498th

Herr Reich, Might want to bump up your lithium.

Wayne Michael Reich

Docbob-

Thanks for the medical advice, but something tells me you're not a real doctor.

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

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Tomato

Wayne, you should just refuse to respond to me. I dare you! 'Cause with every windy post, you prove my point. So insanely defensive! Did your mother refuse to hug you enough back when you had all your hair? (Wonder how many screens of type my little note here will elicit from WMR? He can make sandwiches as he types his screeds.)

Wayne Michael Reich

Tomato-

God- what has it been? Seems like days since I heard from you.

And even longer since you had a rational response. As I noted earlier, you're my version of Angry Birds, so let's play.

"Wayne, you should just refuse to respond to me."

Why? I'm having way too much fun with you.

"I dare you!"

In that case... I double dog dare you... to make a logical argument. Sorry- forgot you can't actually do that.

"Cause with every windy post, you prove my point."

Which is what exactly, again? Rather than actually debate, you've been throwing insults akin to a third grader- hardly intellectual stuff.

What's next, are you going to call me (gasp!) some more names? Oh, the windy horror.

"So insanely defensive!"

So inanely derisive. (I'll wait while you go fetch a Thesaurus)

"Did your mother refuse to hug you enough back when you had all your hair?"

Seriously. All you have now for ammo is "your Momma" jokes? OK.. I'm stepping back from the ledge of stupidity, as your Mother never did anything intentional to me. It's not her fault they switched her baby with an ineffectual and angry fruit.

"(Wonder how many screens of type my little note here will elicit from WMR?"

Would you rather read my resume? I can drop a copy under the bridge if you like.

"He can make sandwiches as he types his screeds.)"

See- I would regard that as a talent. No wonder it confuses and enrages you.

Until next time, my anonymous cyber-coward.You know I can't wait.- this relaxes me like you wouldn't believe.

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

Docbob498th

Damn, Wayne............You haven't come down yet? Are you still "Frothing" about Yuma too?

Wayne Michael Reich

Actually Docbob-

We're back on Amy, and Tomato keeps bringing up Yuma- I think he hates it. It's subtle, but it's there.

I'll get you a scorecard so you can keep up.Oh- and Tomato is also really fixated on my hair, I'm not sure why.

Thanks for following from the other forum- do you actually comment on any posts other than mine?

respectfully,

Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

Docbob498th

"do you actually comment on any posts other than mine?" Feeling a little narcissistic are we?(goes with the grandiosity)

Wayne Michael Reich

Docbob-

I'm an Egotist actually. (There is a subtle difference.)

I asked because you seem to have commented only on my posts, and nowhere else- save for one reply to a racist piece of drivel that was posted on the "Yuma" thread.

There was a question that I posed to you on another thread that you never answered, so I'll just re-post it here, ok?

And it was this:

"Are you here to debate the issues I've raised, or will you just continue to hide under the anonymous skirt of the Interweb?

Logic (which you claim to be a fan of) says you'll continue to compose weak insults, offer accusations, and continue to duck the issue- while bringing nothing of substance to the metaphorical table."

I bet you won't answer this with a logical response- I do however, think you will attempt to deflect the thread yet again.

Care to lay a wager on who's correct?

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://waynemichaelreich.blogs...http://www.waynemichaelreich.c...

Tomato

I can see the old-man, pony-tail thing really gets to you, Wayne. It's the second worst thing anybody can say about a man, right? And, Jeeze, if you were really such an important artist, you wouldn't have all this time to react (so beyone-belief voluminously) to my little snippets, and those of anybody else who dares disagaree with you, now would you? I know you think you're being clever with these hurricane windy posts, which is all the more pathetic... Here's an idea: spend more time on your "art" so maybe you can someday get noticed by the newspaper you admire/obsess about so much.

Wayne Michael Reich

Tomato (The anonymous fruit)

So glad to see you come out from under your bridge- I have missed you!

if I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a personal axe to grind with me- save for the fact that you're too craven to come out from the Internet's closet to wield it.

Anonymous screeching suits you, since in real life- you're obviously too cowardly to say anything direct to those who would best you.

Poor Tomato, maybe one day you'll be a big girl.We can only hope.

No matter how many times you are smacked, you just keep coming back for more.You're just like one of Charlie Sheen's girlfriends- minus the "hot slut" factor.

Now along those lines, let me see what I can do to feed your "I've been a bad girl and need to be punished" complex.

"I can see the old-man, pony-tail thing really gets to you, Wayne."

Where do you "see" this Tomato? The only person seemingly obsessing about my hairline is you, and toi a lesser degree- my stylist.

Personally, I would recommend you check out my ass, as I've been told multiple times that it's quite fantastic. And as for the pony tail- I have long hair and a beehive just doesn't cut it where I work, much to my chagrin.

"It's the second worst thing anybody can say about a man, right?"

I wouldn't know actually, but you DO seem to be an expert on the subject- care to share why?

"And, Jeeze, if you were really such an important artist, you wouldn't have all this time to react (so beyone-belief voluminously) to my little snippets, and those of anybody else who dares disagaree with you, now would you? "

I wasn't aware that taking five free minutes out of my day qualifies as "all this time", since with all due respect- answering your unhinged lunacy is my laid-back version of playing Angry Birds.

And nowhere near as difficult, I might add.I actually made a sandwich while typing this! (It's a BLT in case anyone's interested.)

"I know you think you're being clever with these hurricane windy posts, which is all the more pathetic..."

Yet you keep responding to them (across 3 forums) like Pavlov's inbred rescue puppy.I do these for fun- what's your angle, anonymous cyber-coward?

Pointing out that you seem to be taking this way too personally for a so called casual observer, one would think that perhaps you have an issue with me in the world of the real, and can't do anything about it there either, since at best- you're milquetoast.

"Here's an idea:"

Are you sure you would know how to actually recognize one if you saw it?

"spend more time on your "art" so maybe you can someday get noticed by the newspaper you admire/obsess about so much"

Your concern for my career is touching, but it's middling along just fine, thank you very much. Being "noticed" by the Pennysaver with Porn is obviously not what I'm after, Tomato- just like you're not brave enough to fight without the cloak of anonymity clutched about you.

You can rant/rave/froth/imply/impugn/distort all you want, my sassy Tomato.

As long as people can go check out for themselves what I've been saying, your opinion matters not one iota.But you knew that already, didn't you?

Thus ends the bitch-smack- for now.Come back anytime you need an attitude adjustment- I don't charge friends.

(BTW- I wrote this in four minutes flat- was that quick enough for you?)

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

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Tomato

Dain Brain is one of the two faux-artist nitwits I mentioned. Guess New Times won't notice him sufficiently either. The art community Reich seeks to protect can't stand his balding, pony-tailed ass. That's who's laughing.

Wayne Michael Reich

Once again, it's the anonymous Tomato, hiding under the bed and hissing like the neutered cat we all know him to be.

So let's throw him a few catnip balls to bat around, shall we?

"Dain Brain is one of the two faux-artist nitwits I mentioned."

It's Dain Q Gore actually, and you rhymed his name with "brain"- what a burn! It must of really hurt yours to think of something so clever. I can see the kindergartner you keep on staff as an insult writer has really been earning their keep. Sort of.

For the rest of you reading, I recommend checking out Dain's work at his website which is located at: http://www.daingore.com and see what this talented artist actually does.

Nothing "faux" here, except the anonymous "Tomato", far as I can see. Along with everyone else who can read, I might add.

"Guess New Times won't notice him sufficiently either."

Well, if that's true, then on the up side- he's in excellent company, since there's a majority of the PHX creative community standing right next to him.

"The art community Reich seeks to protect can't stand his balding, pony-tailed ass."

You know this how, exactly? If this was accurate, wouldn't someone have mentioned it to me by now? I do appreciate your acknowledgment that the art scene in PHX needs protecting, however.

See- you CAN be nice if you try.

BTW, what's your fascination with my hair? Do you need a snippet for your Wayne VooDoo sex doll?

"That's who's laughing"

The only laughter I have heard so far is at New Times expense, and now yours.

respectfullyWayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

Jay M

So I see a bunch of artsy fartsies types? Where does the big brain deal come in?

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Tomato

You're so easy to fuck with, Wayne. So touchy. Ouch. See, I told you that you'd have to rant once more. Like I say, you don't know shit, and you don't stand for shit. Nobody cares about your little war with some New Times arts editor, or what you think, in general. No need to bring up all those sad, angry Yumans you riled up. They only care about their little shithole, not about the stupid points you think you're making. It's pretty much you and two other malcontented, faux-artist nitwits who bolster your insane positions. And, of course, your own, as you put it, "troll" comments. Got to admit, I like that one: very Billy Goat Gruff. Keep it up. Everybody gets a good laugh every time you do -- at your expense.

Wayne Michael Reich

Wow Tomato- you were at my response faster than Amy on a doughnut.

Once again, you hide in the closet and hiss like a six year old girl.Oooh.. you are a bad ass princess.

Let me retort.

"You're so easy to fuck with, Wayne. So touchy".

Yep - the opinion of a cowardly troll whom I don't like, respect or fear carries so much weight with me. Nice F-bomb by the way.. classy.

"Ouch."

Sorry- am I on your hair?

"See, I told you that you'd have to rant once more."

And if I hadn't responded, you'd be crowing about how you showed me something.

Typical- dammed if I do, dammed if I don't, so I ll pick "do", mainly since having a battle of wits with you is like talking to an ashtray- it's just not interesting.

"Like I say, you don't know shit, and you don't stand for shit."

Oh yes, you've proven that with your mature frothing at the mouth rants.

"Nobody cares about your little war with some New Times arts editor, or what you think, in general."

Why do you keep coming here then, princess? And she's the managing Editor- strange that you know the comings and goings of the staff, but not it's boss. Odd.

Thanks for upgrading my concerns to "war" status- I just thought we where having a debate about NT's quality sliding.. But war it is then. Awesome- I have a tank I've been dying to test drive!

"No need to bring up all those sad, angry Yumans you riled up."

Oh yes- I riled them up. Amy's article had nothing to do with it, of course. With all that influence, I've been thinking I should start my own cult. Come on by the compound sometime, and I'll make you some Kool Aid.

"They only care about their little shithole, not about the stupid points you think you're making."

What's your issue with Yuma, I ask yet again? And if my points are stupid, then why can't you defend your point of view? Seems like it would be simple. No, I think that you're not being completely honest- hence your need to remain anonymous.

Like a cockroach, you fear the light.

" It's pretty much you and two other malcontented, faux-artist nitwits who bolster your insane positions."

Wow, do you really think that your slander will stick? You've lobbed a jazillion different insults at me so far, and they've all slid off my back as if I were a Teflon coated duck.

If this is your best shot, I actually feel sorry for you. the only faux thing here is you, cyber-coward.

"And, of course, your own, as you put it, "troll" comments."

Sorry, I don't speak "doodyhead"- care to translate that for the rest of us mammals?

"Got to admit, I like that one: very Billy Goat Gruff."

Well you are a tin foil hat wearing, cat collecting kind of guy, so I figured you would.

"Keep it up."

As long as you keep yours tucked in, I will.

"Everybody gets a good laugh every time you do -- at your expense."

Thanks, but I'm really not known for picking up the check, so you can get it on your way out, I'm sure.

stay sassy and classy, you sexy Tomato...

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

Tonyr

Wayne, let it go. Your hate is gonna eat you alive. Oh yea, you aren't really hating -- all you are doing is grandstanding and hoping people will go to your website. We get it. Now go away and comment on something other than yourself/web site. This article is about the people being honored tonight. It isn't about Amy, you or your silly website. Congrats to all the finalists.

Wayne Michael Reich

"Tonyr"- Thanks for proving my point by not answering my questions.I guess your interest in supporting PHX's creative community is as deep as your intellect.

And since you have such a limited attention span, I'll try to keep it under 5000 words, ok?

"Wayne, you lost me at: "A whole case of Ding Dongs..."

If this is true, I feel very sorry for you- those chocolate covered hockey-pucks make life worth living, and I'm quite sure Dain would share if you asked him.

"Boring."

Well anyone who turns down Ding Dongs is not gonna be exciting, I know that much.

"Anyway, here is another reply vine for you to swing in on"

Yay! I get to play Tarzan- has anyone seen my leopard loincloth?

"and write a 5,000 word essay retort."

I thought you never read my blogs- and you said you didn't care. I'm touched. <3

"So go at it."

I think you have me confused with your sister- happens all the time.

"Have fun"

(everybody Wang Chung tonight)

"and know that I wont be reading it."

Of course you wont. And yet.. here we are.

"Bye."

Well for now, anyway- see you under the next bridge.

respectfully,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

Tonyr

Wayne, you lost me at: "A whole case of Ding Dongs..." Boring. Anyway, here is another reply vine for you to swing in on and write a 5,000 word essay retort. So go at it. Have fun and know that I wont be reading it. Bye.

Wayne Michael Reich

Dain?

A whole case of Ding Dongs for you.

Seriously.Add it to my tab.

And "Tonyr"- perhaps you should actually think before you type?

It actually IS about Amy and what she's been doing.

If you actually gave a damn about PHX's creative community, you would want competent arts coverage from this newspaper, and once a year is not the only time to celebrate and/or honor the Arts in PHX.

As far as I can tell, attempting to raise the level of awareness regarding what NT's Editorzilla does/thinks in regards to the creative community hardly counts as "grandstanding".

Oh geez- I put my website address under my name. Get over it.It's also printed on my personal checks, and I don't hear the bank complaining.

There's this amazing thing called free will- you can check it out or stay here if you like.No big woop.

Also the last time I checked, I haven't mentioned my site, except when I've posted links that reference the issues I've raised in regards to NT.

How dare I prove my point. Feel free to blame my parents.

Since you seem to care so much about the Creatives in this article, I will ask the following four questions of you:

1) On a consistent basis, does New Times help or hinder the perception of PHX?2) On a consistent basis, does it mock or praise the positive aspects of PHX?3) On a consistent basis, has the quality of the writing improved over the last year?4) On a consistent basis, does New Times actually listen to it's readers or dismiss them?

I've been waiting for someone to actually debate/answer these questions honestly.

So far, all I've encountered are trolls who spew forth asinine insults and attempt to deflect any mature discussion by hijacking the forums.

Oh yea- it's all about me. Oh yea, it actually isn't, so get your facts straight.

You have an issue with me, come out from under the Internet's anonymous bed and fight like a man or woman, whatever the case- instead of the coward I know you to be.

I await your answer to the questions I've posted "Tonyr", but somehow... I have a hunch you won't answer them directly. However, a troll will soon raise it's ugly little head in your place, I'm sure.

Call me a gambling man.

respectfully,

Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

(Wow. I really need to work on this whole grandstanding thing, don't ya think?)

Dain Quentin Gore

I would actually say the exact same thing...to Tomato, not Wayne. Except, of course, "Tomato" is anonymous, only wishing to escalate the matter, and unwilling to put a name and face to their personal insults.

This just in: Artopia has been postponed.

Tomato

Dear balding, pony-tailed, third-grader Reich, people pity you in Phoenix. What career? You suck as an artist, and as a human being. And your ridiculous obsession continues. New Times, which obviously doesn't give a shit what you think or that you exist, barely has six staff writers. Who exactly has Amy Silverman run off? Steve Jansen works for New Times' sister paper in Houston (got a promotion), Sarah Fenske is the managing editor of its sister paper in St. Louis (got a promotion). You act like you have all this insider information, that you have done so much "research," when you don't know anything. Oh, you have sources. Right, suuuurrreee you do. OK, now you can pen another gigantic rant about how I'm full of shit and you are so great and right on and that New Times is so awful. You are as predictible as boiling heat in August. Go ahead. Continue making a fool of your petty-ass self.

Wayne Michael Reich

Tomato!Still hiding under the skirt of the Internet, I see.

And I totally called out your response when I said below: "if I do get one, I wager it will be full of pettiness, immature taunts, half baked insults and misstated facts"

Damn. It's good to be an Artist.As for the rest of your rant, let's play yet again, shall we?

"Dear balding, pony-tailed, third-grader Reich,"

Ouch. The sales rep at the Hair Club for Men said no one would be able to tell- however, may I point out how nice I find it that you pay attention to my looks.

"people pity you in Phoenix"

Whereas you are hated everywhere you go. I think I win on this one.

"What career? You suck as an artist,"

If that's true, I've been sucking professionally for the last twenty years- and since my stuff is still selling, something tells me you might be a tad bit off on this one.

"and as a human being." Sorry? I was chopping up babies for my soup and didn't hear what you were saying.

"And your ridiculous obsession continues."

As does yours, my sassy Tomato. You've been following my comments across THREE separate forums, so zip your anonymous lip. I want better Arts coverage in PHX, and I want a media outlet who claims to do so, actually do it competently- wow, I am such a bastard.

"New Times, which obviously doesn't give a shit what you think or that you exist, barely has six staff writers."

That must be why they keep releasing the trolls and wrote a slam article on me a while back. Methinks thou doth protest too much- hence, my whole "bloggers do not reporters make" point as of late.

"Who exactly has Amy Silverman run off? Steve Jansen works for New Times' sister paper in Houston (got a promotion), Sarah Fenske is the managing editor of its sister paper in St. Louis (got a promotion)."

Well Tomato, I've actually covered this issue a few times in the other forums, but since you're thick, I'll go slow. Sarah's promotion was already mentioned (several months ago)in one of my past blogs, and I would point out that she got the job in 1/2 the time it took Amy to acquire her position. Scuttlebutt in regards to Steve was that Amy was one of the deciding factors in his decision to take the gig in Texas. I stand by what I've said and written.

Interesting that you are so up to date on this internal employee stuff, I wonder why that is. Hmm.

"You act like you have all this insider information, that you have done so much "research," when you don't know anything. Oh, you have sources. Right, suuuurrreee you do."

Actually, I do and my email inbox proves it daily. Like I told you earlier, you can mock me all you want, but unlike you, I can back up my points.

Interesting how you consistently won't debate the issues I've raised, but attempt to deflect the focus by throwing slander randomly- hoping some of it will stick.

"OK, now you can pen another gigantic rant about how I'm full of shit and you are so great and right on and that New Times is so awful."

And you can keep writing those amazing run-on sentences that bring me so much joy.

"You are as predictible as boiling heat in August."

And you are as boring as an evening spent folding socks- we all have our little quirks.

"Go ahead. Continue making a fool of your petty-ass self""

I will Tomato. But only if you keep promising to hide under the Internet's bed. You know- where you can pretend you have a set?

missing you already,Wayne Michael Reichhttp://www.WayneMichaelReich.c...

linbo4

Wayne Michael Reich

Don't worry about it Amy.

After the recent NT article that bashed a charity event aimed at kids, as well as your so called review of the City of Yuma- it's fairly obvious you haven't got a clue about anything relating to PHX's creative community.

Anyone with five minutes to kill can see for themselves how you feel about PHX by reading the following article you penned:

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com...

And while it was written several years ago, the attitude it embodies remains a constant.

The scuttlebutt at NT implies that you have chased away no less than six actual journalists, and replaced them with hack bloggers who misspell, omit facts, and can't be bothered to do the merest of research.

Am I overstating the problem at NT?

If so, all your readers have to do is spec the level of quality (or lack thereof) by randomly skipping through an assortment of articles on your online edition to prove me a liar.

That's some excellent "managing" there, my dear Editorzilla. Top notch.

On the up side, it's nice to know that I am not alone in my rather blunt critique of your competence as Managing Editor.

(Evidenced by the over 350 complaints NT received in regards to the online & print version of said Yuma article, and the 75 or so in regards to the free charity event NT bashed.)

You can easily fall back on your worn out method of attempting to deflect my criticism by petty sniping, posting troll responses on your own articles, or even pulling out the moth eaten "he's just jealous" cliche.

I can assure you now that possibly appearing in the "Pennysaver with Porn" will never be the desired pinnacle in my career.

You continually insult the people, cities, and creative communities of AZ with no regard for the consequences, and no apologies to those who you have wounded.

This includes several members of your current/past staff, who recently held a very special party one night in your honor- regaling each other with tales about working with/for you

Three little words come to mind- and they are: "Amy Silverman Pinata"

[Actually, it was a Porky the Pig Pinata wearing a frizzy blonde wig- but everyone involved said that it got the job done splendidly.]

Ouch. Generating enough anger to be destroyed in a candy filled effigy?That does take a modicum of talent, I will begrudgingly admit.

Just not the desired kind, I would put forth.

In closing, no response is necessary.

However, if I do get one, I wager it will be full of pettiness, immature taunts, half baked insults and misstated facts.

Just like we've come to sadly expect.

with limited respect and best regards to your upcoming art event,

Wayne Michael Reichhttp:www.WayneMichaelReich.com