Christmas with the average American family involves a tree, too many sweets, and a squabble or two. Toss in some Charlie Brown and a festive carol, and you're set until next winter. Awww. You know how all that sounds? Tear-jerkingly boring.
We're fairly sure that kitschy, cult filmmaker John Waters would agree that your Kris Kringle and his holly-jolly whatnot need a kick in the oversize rear. Ditch 'em in favor of such Waters-approved holiday activities as giving and receiving pervy presents, engaging in unabashed worship of Santa, and delighting in X-mas tales of horror. Unsure of where to begin? Take in the Pope of Trash's one-man show, A John Waters Christmas, for his gleeful guidance in making the holidays weirdly wonderful.