We've all had that fun moment when going up to talk to someone who looks like they might be a winner (or at least good enough to take on a first date) only to find out that there's something horribly wrong with them within the first five minutes of conversation.
Maybe we should be thankful for those quick deal-breakers, because they help to weed out some of the yellow Starburst hiding in pink wrappers.Here are 10 of our biggest deal-breakers that definitely make our inner Liz Lemon shut it down.
Regardless of how comfortable you might find them, there's never an acceptable time to wear Crocs in public. For that matter, you probably shouldn't even own a pair unless you're already happily married and have given up on attracting the opposite sex. No matter what else you're wearing, if it's complemented by those warlocks of shoes, we're not going to ask you to dinner next weekend.
It's cool to be a fan of something. Hobbies are good, and it shows that you have passions other than yourself. That said, there's a line in the sand that an awful lot of people are dangerously close to. It doesn't matter if it's a band, a movie, a sports team, or pretty much anything else, being too into something that you have literally no control over/impact on is going to make us not want to see you. For that matter, if you so much as mention the words "fan fiction," we're probably going to stop listening immediately.
Poor dental hygiene
Generally speaking, smelling good is just as important as looking good. No one wants to be with someone who smells horrid, so most westernized adults bathe regularly. The area some people tend to forget is the mouth, which can be a bad situation for a number of reasons. Aside from the instant unattractiveness of bad breath, no one looks their best with busted yellow teeth or poor gum:tooth ratio. Take care of your chompers, and that'll be one less thing you'll have to worry about getting you instantly rejected.
Lack of compassion
When you get right down to it, it doesn't matter who you are or what you're looking for, no one wants to be with someone who can't be nice. There's a big difference between playfully teasing someone and just being mean, so it's a fine line to walk, but being a blatant jerk to everyone (or everyone other than us) isn't going to look good on you. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, err on the side of kindness when first getting to know someone, and then let your inner sarcastic asshole out later. No one is going to get the number of a person who's constantly hating on everything.
Bizarre hygiene habits
Everyone marches (and cleans) to the beat of their own drum, but there's a limit to what we're willing to work with. The moment we find out that you keep your toenail clippings in a jar or eat your scabs, it's over. Regardless of how attractive you may be, there are certain gross habits that you just can't get past. If you found out that Jennifer Lawrence or Benedict Cumberbatch secretly licks their boogers, you'd look at them in a whole new (uninterested) way.
Working is a really good thing. It's way better than being unemployed. But when we're first getting to know each other, maybe it's not the time to rant about how great/terrible/important/meaningless your job is. Not only would we like to think that you have something interesting to say that doesn't revolve around your career, but most people probably aren't looking to get involved with someone whose entire life revolves around their workday. Money and employment are nice, but they aren't everything. If that's all you're concerned about, we probably won't be getting your number.
We're all for treating our significant others like royalty (or as well as we possibly can) and going out of our way to make them happy (within reason), but if it's apparent that someone is going to expect that sort of treatment, then count us out. A relationship is a partnership, and when one person just expects the other to treat them like a god/goddess without reciprocation, then why would we even enter into that mess of a relationship? We're sure there are guys out there who want to be servants and do nothing but provide for an attractive woman, but we're not among them.
By no means are we saying everyone needs to look picture perfect at all times. There are plenty of times for baggy T-shirts and sweatpants, but usually not when you're looking for a first date. Sloppiness isn't just about your clothes though. You don't want to be that hammered drunk guy/gal who can't stand up without leaning (unless the person you're talking to is equally drunk), and a little bit of grooming can go a long way, for everyone. It's awesome when you hit that point in a relationship where you don't really have to try super-hard anymore, but, until you're there, just try to make sure you're presentable anytime you might run into someone you might want to date.
This gets tied into what we said about entitlement. There's only two ways a relationship can work: 1) as partners; 2) one of those weird situations where one person ends up acting as a parent/teacher to the other. The latter almost always ends up in one party resenting the other, so we prefer to stick to dating people with whom we feel we're on a similar level, in many ways. One of those key ways is maturity. Sure, you can have fun and say/do dumb, immature things sometimes, but when it's one of the first things we notice about you, it's pretty much an instant "I'm busy that night (and every night after)."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
There's no point in even beginning to date someone who seems super shady from the first time you meet him/her. No matter how cute he/she may be, if you can't trust a person, why would you want to date them? Obviously, there are certain things you're not going to reveal about yourself the first time you meet someone, but if something seems fishy or we sense intentional misdirection, we're not going to find the time to get sucked into your web of lies by having coffee with you.