Just in time for Cactus League Spring Training, here's your guide to places where you can party, scheme, trash talk, make out, and dance like one of Vh1's Baseball Wives -- Erika Monroe Williams, Brooke Villone, Anna Benson, Chantel Kendall, Tanya Grace, and Jordana Lenz.
The ladies made the Valley's nightlife rounds, mostly spending time in Scottsdale, and here are six spots they hung out while filming. Be sure to bring along your favorite quotable quips from the reality show's first season, including Tanya's handy pick-up lines like, "I wanna taste your gum," and Anna Benson's life mantras such as, "I'm a bomb ass bitch. I ain't June Cleaver."
10. The Mint
When the wives take to this Scottsdale bank-turned-club in the first episode, things get wild. Tanya swapped spit with a stranger (under the guise of gum tasting), Chantel told her "gusband" (translation: gay husband) that post-divorce she wants to "celebrate me," and Jordana awkwardly danced on a table -- and noted in her commentary on the night that she loves attention. Huh. We never would've guessed.
9. Spanish Fly Bar meets pool meets at this Old Town establishment that Jordana dubbed like totally her kind of place. The squattest baseball non-wife jumped in the pool after performing a little striptease, and then proceeded to jiggle and wiggle all over the cast's cabana. Brooke joined in the watery festivities, adding, "It's hot. It's Phoenix. Why not?"
8. Jake's O Mine Saloon
Anna takes the ladies to this Apache Junction biker bar (what she says is her favorite hangout in town) where they stuck out like a pack of bedazzled and spray-tanned thumbs among the leather-clad clientele.
Apart from being mega awkward, the excursion allowed Tanya to meet up with a muscly dude who taught her how to fire automatic weaponry earlier in the day -- another activity suggested by Anna. Please note that the firing range instructor, Morgan, is not gum guy from The Mint. But we don't care, because Tanya is and will forever be our favorite Baseball Wife.
In episode two, he ladies lunch at the restaurant, which serves as the scene of their first fight, and Chantel pounces on Erika for calling her "bottom of the barrel."
6. Montelucia Resort & Spa
Since you can't possibly party 24 hours a day seven days a week (and neither can these botoxed babes), a little relaxation is in order every once in a while.
Chantel gets a pedicure at Joya to decompress and dish a whole lotta gossip about Anna to secondary cast member and pal Shayla Farnsworth. Around this time, Chantel plots revenge against Anna (who demanded that Chantel forgive Erika for barrelgate) and decides to invite Anna's rival Cherie to town.
5. Giant Coffee
Chantel has a little rendezvous with Cherie at Matt Pool's downtown cash-only coffee house. Over espresso and what looks like an iced latte, Chantel convinces Cherie to crash the cast's upcoming pin-up photo shoot for a charity calendar, in hopes that the situation will blow up.
4. Casablanca Lounge
After the disastrous photo shoot, Cherie and the cast take to the Scottsdale rooftop bar, and she explains how Anna "tortured" her when she was a player's girlfriend, calling her trash and a homewrecker.
3. Citizen Public House
Tanya meets up with her boy toy Morgan at Citizen for a second date. She admits to not knowing what the word "equinox" means, swoons when she finds out he has a Harley, and continues crossing her fingers for a first kiss from him.
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2. Let It Roll Bowl
Jordana has her first date in what she makes seem like a bajillion years. So she lets a guy she met at an improv class take her out for an evening of bowling in hopes of getting over her baseball-playing ex-boyfriend. To which he is 20 minutes late. He promises to let her win. She promises to kick his ass anyway. She doesn't.
1. Dollhouse Cocktail Lounge
Jordana interviews on camera for a bartending job at Dollhouse, and gets a trial run. To support her during her first shift, the crew shows up for a night of gallivanting. While Jordana's on the clock, Cherie confronts her about being a "little brat" during a speed dating event when she was asked how many people she'd slept with and declined to respond.
Season one of Vh1's Baseball Wives ended, but most of the episodes are streaming here.