10 Summer Movies: Nerdy Picks and Skips for Upcoming Releases
This summer has an abundance of noteworthy films coming out and quite a few that might not be worth the cost of admission.
Jackalope Ranch is here to help guide you through the movie madness with five must see geek flicks that will have you lining up for the midnight showing and five more that can wait until a cold, lonely night when your Netflix queue is empty.
Iron Man 3
Release Date: May 3 Oh, Robert Downey Jr. ... You make such a phenomenally witty and debonair Tony Stark that it's hard to say no to another Iron Man movie. This time things get personal against terrorist the Mandarin. Picking Ben Kingsly to play the villainous lover of chaos was an excellent choice, and I'm sure he's going to nail it.
Star Trek Into Darkness
Release Date: May 17 Remember when J.J. Abrams' first Star Trek reboot flick came out and the nerd rage rained down upon him for making an entertaining movie with attractive young actors? Yeah, well that wasn't really a problem then, and it won't be for Into Darkness. While we will always love Jean-Luc Picard and can't help but respect the O.G. Kirk, the new cast is so great, while respecting the beloved roles they portray.
Kick Ass 2
Release Date: August 16 Basically if you've seen the first Kick Ass movie, you get the hype. If you've read the comic series, you really get the hype. We can't wait to see Kick Ass (Aaron Johnson) back in action to beat out Nega McLovin with a few new costumed hero friends, including Jim Carrey. Plus, Chloe Moretz's foul-mouthed, tough-as-nails Hit Girl might be the only reason we'd ever wish to be pubescent again.
The Great Gatsby
Release Date: May 10 F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic novel "The Great Gatsby" was likely forced down your throat in high school English classes, and maybe you picked it up after and realized it was actually a great read. Regardless, Leo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby is sure to be entertaining. While I have no idea why it needs to be in 3D, I trust Baz Lurhman's judgement after Moulin Rouge and Romeo + Juliet--let's just forget about Australia.
Man of Steel
Release Date: June 14 There are a lot of cheesy Superman renditions working against Man of Steel's rep, but if producer Christopher Nolan, who turned Batman Forever into The Dark Knight, and director Zack Snyder, who made the Watchmen watchable, can't do it, no one can. Plus, have you seen their pick for Clark Kent, Henry Cavill? Now that's a man of steel I could watch in a skin-tight suit all day long.
And The Skips...
World War Z
Release Date: June 21 Not every book-to-movie makes the leap gracefully and the use of the Inception-esque blaring tones in the World War Z trailer just suggests forced intensity. Brad Pitt seems to be playing a normal guy caricature of himself. What happened to the Tyler Durden we used to know? Maybe it's just the disappointment of a lackluster Walking Dead finale, but it might be time for the zombie film epidemic to just die.
The Lone Ranger
Release Date: July 3 Someone apparently told Johnny Depp that he should only play zany Jack Sparrow type swarthy weirdos from now on, and he listened. Whoever that person is should be socked in the nose. Oh, look! It's got Helena Bonham-Carter in it too, playing the same madam goth chick she's played in every role for the past five years. Either this is insanely bad marketing or they're literally just remaking the same movie over and over again.
Release Date: July 26 I feel like I might get major flack for saying so, but why can't Marvel storylines ever be made into serious, interesting, adult movies like DC does? Somehow they always turn into some Michael Bay rip-off with all frills (and explosions!) and no substance. The Wolverine doesn't look to be much different. Maybe Hugh Jackman should just stick to musicals.
300: Rise of an Empire
Release Date: August 2 Take all of the brooding, hyper-masculine muscle men in tiny little itty-bitty crotch drapes from the original 300 and put them to battle at sea. That's about it. Too bad Zack Snyder jumped ship on directing this sequel, otherwise it may have had a shot. Maybe Lena Heady (a.k.a. Cersei Lannister) can save the film as she returns for round two as Queen Gorgo.
Release Date: June 7 Poor M. Night Shymalan. He caught so much flack for destroying The Last Airbender and the inconceivably painful The Happening and I don't see that lessening any time soon. This time his sci-fi skills are put to the test with a futuristic crash landing on Earth starring Will Smith and his son IRL. The probable twist on this is either the Battlestar Galactica ending or one of many Twilight Zone plots.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about upcoming performances, exhibitions, openings and special events happening in the Phoenix art and theater scene.