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13 Tips for Faking Your Way Through a Super Bowl Party

Seahawks fans celebrate their team's NFC conference championship.
Seahawks fans celebrate their team's NFC conference championship.
Courtesy Flicker user Joe Parks.

Excited for the Super Bowl parties but nervous because you don't follow football closely enough to keep up with the conversation? Don't worry. We've got your back with this handy guide that will help you talk all about the Sunday, February 2, game featuring the guy with the giant forehead from the Papa John's commercials and that likable kid from those gag-worthy State Farm Insurance commercials. Or as you'll soon know them, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning and Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson, respectively.

See also: 10 Favorite Bars for Watching Football in Metro Phoenix

13. In case you've really been out of the loop: the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos will face each other in Super Bowl XLVIII. Kickoff is at 4:30 p.m. The game will air on Fox.

12. When it comes to conversation, start with the basics. "Man, I sure am excited to see the Seattle Seahawks number-one ranked defense go up against the Broncos number-one ranked offense."

11. Then add in some banal trivia: "Did you know that Denver's Peyton Manning is the second-oldest quarterback to start a Super Bowl? The oldest was John Elway."

10. If you want to play it safe, you can always comment about the halftime show with something like, "Really? Bruno Mars is the halftime act? That's the best they could get?"

9. When the subject turns to players, stick to familiar sports clichés.

8. Peyton Manning and Wes Welker are "wily veterans."

7. Seattle's Russell Wilson is a "rising star" or an "up-and-comer" (take your pick).

6. Seahawk Marshawn Lynch and Broncos Demaryius Thomas and Julius Thomas are "freaks of nature."

 

5. Things you should know about Seattle cornerback Sherman: He startled reporter Erin Andrews by shouting, "Don't you talk about me!" in a post-NFC Championship interview. The "you" Sherman was talking about was 49ers receiver Michael Crabtree, not Andrews. Following that interview, Sherman was called a thug -- a lot. His response to being called a thug was pretty perfect. Also he occasionally writes columns for Sports Illustrated.

4. If Manning's legacy comes up for discussion (and it will), you have your choice of, "Statistically, the guy just had the best year of any quarterback ever. Of course he's the greatest of all time!" or "I dunno. Wait 'till he matches Joe Montana's four rings. Then we'll talk."

3. Once the game actually starts, just shout things at the TV. Some tried and true classics are: "That dude is a beast! A freaking beast!"; "Are you blind? There was holding!"; and the ever-useful "Oh, sure, now you throw the flag!"

2. If you really get desperate, just yell "OMAHA! OMAHA! OMAHA!" like Peyton Manning does before every other play.

1. If all else fails and you run out of things to say, volunteer to make a beer run.

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