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5 Worst Fashion Trends of Spring 2014

Marni's metallic leather sandals are $690.
Marni's metallic leather sandals are $690.
Courtesy of Net-A-Porter.com

Say goodbye to your little blazer because winter's almost over. Replacing the atrocious Muppet coats and slouchy pants of your cold-weather wardrobe are a new batch of totally repulsive fashion options that are set to trend this spring. Here's what not to wear.

See also: Austin Rickert Thrifts, Borrows, and Steals for Fashion

Sporty Sandals Your dad might know a thing or two about practical outdoorsy footwear. But that does not mean you should wear sandals resembling his standbys for science hikes.

 

Granny panties ($50 by Base Range) and see-through skirts are a match made in hell.
Granny panties ($50 by Base Range) and see-through skirts are a match made in hell.

Visible Undies Not only are the undies of spring very visible, they are also massive, up-to-your-belly-button-style granny panties. What would you dear old grandmother say? We'll wage a guess: Stop being a jackass and put on some bottoms that aren't see-through, honey.

 

Metallics We are quite familiar with the whole "you are what you eat" thing. But we remove the wrappers from our candy prior to inhaling, thank you very much.

 

Flowy Pants Show us one person who looks fabulous in big, billowy culottes. One! Oh, wait, you can't. Because they're terrible, and nobody looks good in them.

 

You are not welcome, $75 T-shirt by Zoe Karssen.
You are not welcome, $75 T-shirt by Zoe Karssen.

Graphic T-Shirts Words are for books, not boobs.

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