Happy hour -- it's like recess for grown ups. And just like your days on the playground, there are certain unspoken rules that everyone at the bar should follow to remain in good social standing.
If you've ever been shot the stink eye, the cold shoulder, or a sarcastic "wow, seriously?" while sitting at the bar, chances are you were guilty of one or more of the following social misdemeanors.
5. Don't bring your work to the bar
While playing Words with Friends, and pretending to look busy on your smart phone is one thing, it's a whole other thing to set up your satellite office near the draft beer. We get that you want everyone to know how busy and important you are, but this isn't a coffee shop.
4. Scoot. Over.
Unless the two empty seats on either side of you are for your imaginary friend posse, slide your butt over one. Just because you're sitting alone at the bar doesn't mean it's necessarily the norm. Let those individuals who have friends, sit together, saving them the trouble of having to ask you to move. (Unless this is how you get people to talk to you, in which case, bravo socially awkward person, bravo...)
3. Easy on the drink accessories, Charming Charlie
Gentleman, if you have built up the liquid courage to ask a girl for her number, make sure the drink in your hand, is a minimalist one. Drink accessories such as straws, umbrellas, and multiple fruit wedges do nothing for the manly image you are trying to convey. And any thoughts that girl may have had about giving you her number will quickly evaporate as she watches you blindly chase a straw around with your lips.
2. Work clothes, yes. Work out clothes, no.
Business attire is a completely acceptable feature for bar patrons. Many nine-to-fivers need happy hour to unwind from a long day at work and pre-game for a long night a home. It keeps them sane, and it keeps the bar looking classy.
What doesn't keep the bar classy? Gym clothes. Wearing your workout gear to a bar either means you're an alcoholic who has to make a bee-line from the gym to the nearest vodka tonic, or you're just too lazy to wear something more formal than your Victoria's Secret PINK yoga pants.
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1. No kids
Drinking is helpful in making adults act like children or helping them to forget they have children, but it is not something they want to do with children. While the drunken ramblings of an alcoholic can be can comical, the whining of your babies and the rattling of their toys is not. There's a reason why high chairs aren't tall enough high tops and it's the same reason why everyone is giving you dirty looks around the bar.