Dicks Throughout Art History

Google-image searching wangs is all in a day's work here at the Phoenix New Times.

As a follow up to our list of top T&A Throughout Art History, this equal opportunity blog has turned its attention toward the penis.

Read on for an art history lesson, top ten style, on the dong.

10. Buy My Bananas by Linda Nochlin
Leave it to a feminist art historian to create this incredible photo. It's a spoof on 19th century French photographs which featured naked ladies holding trays of fruit ... get it? As you may have guessed from the body hair bushiness on this man, this photo was taken in the 1970s.

Dicks Throughout Art History

9. Target with Plaster Casts by Jasper Johns
Basically, this American artist's big contribution to art history was appropriating popular iconography into the snooty world of painting during the 1950s. So he messed around with images of the American Flag, maps, letters, numbers, and targets. He also messed around with wieners (he was a homosexual and dated artist Robert Rauschenberg for years). This work has a sneak surprise. Several, actually. The hinged doors running along the top of the image feature three-dimensional plaster casts of body parts. Oh, look, there's our no. 9 wang.

8. Fresco of Priapus, Pompeii
Pretty much any portrait of Priapus will do because this Greek God (aka Mutunus Tutunus to the Romans) of fertility had one defining feature: his beard. Kidding. It was his massive erection. That giant thing somehow helped him ensure his worshippers that they would knock up their women and grow luscious gardens. Wer'e thinking it probably also scared virgin daughters into chastity.

7. Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci
You really should not have to click this link to know which drawing we're referring to here. Now, this wiener may not be as obvious as the others but it's not without merit. Da Vinci is known for his anatomical drawings so we must include him ... for the sake of science. And, because he's rumored to have been a big ol' homo (God bless him) we look to him as a true expert.

Dicks Throughout Art History

6. Priapus (Reprise)
Aw, it's our old friend. This time around, he's been made into a figurine. A figurine that could easily be held in one's hand. For worship. Yeah, worship.

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