Sorry Oprah, we're just not digging the book.
Actually, it's not even the book that's making us queasy (though disliking anything written by Elizabeth Gilbert has long been a tried-and-true friendship test for some of us here at Jackalope Ranch), it's the tchotchke-filled campaigns, quintessential girls' nights and the creepy concept of a toe reading. That's right, a toe reading.
We're up to six reasons -- though we're sure there are many more -- why we're a little EPL-fatigued.
1. Home Shopping Network Marathons: Worse than a television channel devoted to 24-hour, televised salespeople is a television channel devoted to 24-hour, televised salespeople pitching Eat, Pray, Love-themed products for 72 hours. Just as the book covers three countries, HSN announced this week it will smother viewers with three full days (August 6, 7 and 8) of more than 400 items including (but not limited to) beauty supplies, electronics, jewelry and ready-to-wear ... get ready for another one piece frock made custom for the 30 to 50 year old, middle-class white woman.
(Check out our other five after the jump ...)
2. Book-themed tea ... you'll have to read all about this one on Chow Bella.
3. Translation Guides: Berlitz and Insight Guide books are taking the film as a serious (and perhaps their only) chance to toot their own multilingual horns -- as they are the official Eat, Pray Love translation guides. How special. They're featured throughout the movie and claim to be the "most respected name in language learning for more than 130 years."
3. Home Furnishings Confession: Cost Plus World Market has a few pretty cool pieces and pretty kick-ass prices on bottles of wine. But they've dedicated an entire campaign to Eat, Pray, Love and all its New Age spirituality tackiness. Hurry in -- meditation accessories are only $14.99!
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4. Doomed Summertime Films Julia Roberts. Need we say more?
6. Toe Readings: Don't get us wrong, we're all about helping out the kids, but Chandler Fashion Center is hosting a "Girls' Night Out" -- proceeds benefiting Phoenix Children's Hospital -- on August 13. The event will include a premier screening of the above described movie, complete with mocktails, beauty touch-ups (to impress all the men who will surely be in attendance) nail polish changes and toe readings.
Now, if only there were only Eat, Pray, Love-inspired barf bags ...