Eat, Pray, Loathe: Six Ways Elizabeth Gilbert Hasn't Cashed In ... Yet
Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir Eat, Pray, Love, and the consequential movie adaptation (in theaters tonight) ignited a gimmick heyday in the form of furniture lines, tea sets, language kits, toe readings, you name it ... or check it out in our EPL rundown.
But the EPL folks and trend suckers really missed a few key opportunities. Here are just a few of our suggestions:
1. A Vajazzle: you may recall a trend, backed by Jennifer Love Hewitt, in which a Brazilian wax was followed with a down-under bedazzle fest. We offer the EPL vajazzle. Jennifer Love says she felt like a disco ball, and we're sure that with an EPL vajazzle you'll able to find some kind of inner enlightenment.
2. A Special Spice Blend: If you've kept up with our buzz buzz coverage, it may sound as though everyone's coming up with their own "spice" or synthetic marijuana blend. The book and the movie might be a little less painful when experienced, well, under the influence, so why not design an EPL spice? It could give a high that lasts just around the film's two hours and 13 minutes or could allow you to mindlessly turn pages for hours without the otherwise-potential brain damage.
Rancho Solano Preparatory School: Fiddler on the Roof Jr.
TicketsThu., Apr. 27, 7:00pm
TicketsFri., Apr. 28, 8:00pm
Beauty and the Beast by Ballet Etudes
TicketsSat., Apr. 29, 2:00pm
Thunder From Down Under
TicketsThu., May. 4, 8:00pm
Chris Rock: Total Blackout Tour 2017
TicketsSat., May. 6, 7:00pm
3. A Music Festival: Or is that the Lilith Fair?
4. Face Mats: Gilbert writes: "Yoga is the effort to experience one's divinity personally and then to hold on to that experience forever ... Only from that point of even-mindedness will the true nature of the world (and yourself) be revealed to you." Yeah. So, we're assuming the yoga gear is already in production. But how much more meaningful would a downward dog be if it could be done on a yoga mat stamped with Elizabeth Gilbert or Julia Roberts' face?
5. Divorce Lawyers: If Gilbert could find happiness (and a hot Brazilian man in Bali) post-divorce, then divorce courts and specialty lawyers should be bracing themselves for an onslaught of unhappy, middle-aged women and their new-found independence. Now they just need to come up with a clever 1-800 number.
6. Religion: What was it that L. Ron Hubbard supposedly said about the easiest way to make $1 million?
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