Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong
In two days (on 4/20), Charles Band's latest marijuana sci-fi movie, Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong, opens nationwide. The film is presented in 3D and "Smell-O-Vision," which is basically a scratch and sniff card with eight different scents.
We wish we could tell you the movie was as cool as its hype and concept, but the best thing we can say is, watching Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong is a cinematic experience like no other. That doesn't mean it's good, but it's definitely different.
The plot of the movie revolves around an alien bong, which lands on earth with the goal of enslaving and eradicating the human race with killer weed. A group of stoners gets transported to the bong's alien world, where they are milked by "hot alien chicks" (naked women slathered in black light body paint). In order to rescue themselves and save the world, they must call on the help of the "Evil Bong" from the first two Evil Bong movies.
Alien Bong and Evil Bong are the most interesting characters in the movie. They're animated bongs with attitude. Alien Bong's eyes light up and he talks with a vague British accent about how loathsome the human race is; Evil Bong sounds like Foxxy Love from the cartoon series Drawn Together and makes out with an old hippie in tie-dye.
For the most part, the acting was really lacking in Evil Bong 3D. About 70 percent of the unknown cast recites lines like they're reading them right out of the script and not even bothering with vocal inflection. The special effects and sets were low budget, too -- the "alien world" basically consists of a slimy chair, a TV with a woman inside it, some Christmas lights, and a fog machine.
But this movie was made by Charles Band, who's known for stretching a shoestring budget into decent B-grade horror movies like Puppet Master, Ghoulies, Re-Animator, and Troll. And considering the subject matter and plot of Evil Bong 3D, the cheesy props and set dressings work. If someone had tried to make this a "serious movie," it would've just been offensive to viewers, like are you kidding me?
But Band is kidding us, and that's obvious. And his attempt to make Evil Bong 3D multi-sensory was fun, even if it didn't work out well. The 3D was cool, but except for a couple animated transition scenes, there weren't a lot of moments in the movie that lent themselves to 3D (though the statue of Jesus with a big joint hanging out of his mouth was pretty intense). People who wear prescription eyeglasses might have trouble seeing the 3D after replacing their glasses with the cardboard 3D shades.
As for the "Smell-O-Vision," it was dubious and disappointing. There were eight numbered scratch and sniff sections on our "Sniff-O-Rama" card, and when a number popped up onscreen, audience members were supposed to scratch and sniff the corresponding section. About half the scents were supposed to be some kind of marijuana, but either smelled like fresh cut grass or skunk spray.
An acquaintance of ours, whom we saw leaving the theater after the first showing Saturday night (we caught the second) summed up Evil Bong 3D by saying, "It might have been better if I'd been high."
For more information on Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong and other Charles Band features, visit www.fullmoondirect.com.
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