Five Fugly Men's Summer Fashions
>Given: Phoenix is known for its low-key, laid back style. We wear jeans to the opera, shorts to the theater -- hell, we just saw a lady in a slinky romper at the Phoenix Art Museum. (We'll have more on rompers in tomorrow's female-specific list.)
Also Given: In the summer, it's near impossible to look attractive after you break a sweat while waiting for the A/C in the car to kick in.
But let's get it together. Some fashion trends have tried (and failed) to adapt to the heat and some are just plain stupid. Let's take a look at what's fugly about this season's line:
This fashion phenomena seems to have crossed the great divide of bros and hipsters. This shirt style -- with its plunging armpit holes and inevitable graphic print -- is embraced by muscly men who wave hand signs with a casual exclamation, "suns out guns out!"
But the retro, striped version is also loved by the two-wheeled Peugeot riders, who after rolling up a pant leg (which we'll get to later), scoff at your music taste and brush their bangs out of their eyes. Please, for both species, find something with sleeves.
2. Pant/Short Rolling:
Are you digging for clams? Are you a girl whose gym shorts are too big? If you need shorter pants, wear shorts. If you need shorter shorts ... you may have other issues.
Anything brought back into culture by a man that once dated Britney Spears should be forgotten, if not banned (Can we talk about the landing-strip goatee?).
4. Boat Shoes:
Are you on a boat? Enough said.
5. Going Sock-less:
It's popular with said boat shoes. And it's horrifying. Closed toed shoes need socks, even if they're ultra low-rise. It's way too hot to burden others with the smell of your dank feet.
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