Every week, we're recapping season two of Fuller House, episode by episode.
We arrive at our first mostly kid-centric episode of Fuller House season two, with the A plot dedicated to the child with the least amount of airtime thus far: Ramona. In the first three minutes, the episode titled "Ramona's Not So Epic First Kiss" fulfills its premise. Our young heroine locks lips with Jackson's best friend, Popko, who volunteers himself as tribute to get her first kiss out of the way. They go at it not once, but twice, with young Max barging in the second time, aghast at the sight. That bit of awkwardness didn't deter her new suitor, and he invites her out to a movie "with friends" that night.
Her heart all aflutter, Ramona reveals to her mom that the kiss was a game-changer, and she was ready to pursue a life with Popko's fedora in every Instagram. This was a refreshingly accurate portrayal of how a teenage girl's trajectory can go from 0 to 60, and is the kind of decision-making DJ should have probably employed instead of dragging on the Matt/Steve saga. Ramona frantically digs through her closet for her "first date," soliciting advice from Max, who is now heavily invested and judging her choice of footwear. It was nice to see these two interact, or for that matter, have Max interact with anyone other than the dog.
Later that night, Popko shows up to the house with literally all of his friends to pick up Ramona and Jackson for the movie. They're all chatting, debating which Kevin Hart movie to see. Popko says outwardly, "Hey babe, which one do you want to see?" Ramona responds, "Whatever you want!" and a surprised Popko clarifies that he was "talking to Bethany."
WHO IS BETHANY?!
Apparently, Ramona's game-changer was part of Popko's game, macking with every eighth-grader in town. Ramona tries to play it cool, but Max happens to see it go down and starts to freak out like all of us who couldn't believe Kelly chose Jeff over Zack on Saved by the Bell. He very loudly proclaims that Popko has ruined Ramona's first date, which was news to him. Now everyone knows and she has to shine on in the shadow of her crush holding hands with another girl.
Meanwhile, the Tanner sisters decide to hit the town, after Steph convinces DJ to abandon her usual Saturday night plan of going to bed at 9:30. Instead of going with DJ's suggestion to see a musical (which sounds lovely, tbh), the younger ~*world-renowned DJ*~ decides that they're going to crash a wedding. She wants to up her sister's chances of meeting a nice guy by hopefully dropping in somewhere with lots of single men (which only ever worked in Picture Perfect).
They mosey in to a ballroom where friends and family are celebrating the marriage of Mickey O'Malley and Colleen O'Shaughnessy. They determine it's an Irish wedding, which is further amplified to a cartoonish level by the green decorations (including a shamrock on the DJ's laptop) and corned beef for dinner. This prompts DJ and Steph to pose as Sinead and Carol O'Conner, two fifth cousins from County Cork in Ireland, despite no decipherable accents.
They quickly lock in on two men at the bar, with DJ calling dibs on a man named Sean. Steph circles the buffet and drinks while DJ flirts by singing "Danny Boy" and doing traditional Celtic folk dancing because that's what Irish people do all the time, of course. When she steps away to get her phone, Sean and Steph start chatting, and she casually mentions that DJ is really picky about men. "Me too," says Sean, and the jig is up (literally, see: Celtic folk dancing). When DJ returns, Steph tries to quickly tell her of this discovery, but only gets the message through as the music stops and the entire wedding hears — including Sean's grandparents, who give a coordinated sassy snap. Even with that loud display, it wasn't until DJ catches the bouquet that the bride and groom realize that neither of them know these two women. The Tanners quickly make a run for it, corned beef in hand.
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Back at home, Ramona managed to leave the movie theater and sneak back into the house via Max's window. Her parents were so excited to send her off on her first date, and now she can't bear to tell them this is how it turned out. She hides until she hears Jackson come home, at which point she scurries downstairs to keep up the lie. However, everyone in the family had become invested in Ramona's new love and asked her how it went. Flustered, she can only muster, "It was romantic and I'll remember it forever," before she runs back upstairs. As everyone watches in confusion, Max explains what happened and the She-Wolf pack assembles to comfort her.
They recount their own horrifying first kiss stories in a series of flashbacks, since they had all played out in the original series. It's a testament to the fact that these kid stories matter, as we wouldn't have Fuller House without growing up with these kids, one awkward moment at a time.