I Gave Up My Favorite Bar

Jamie Peachey

The most degrading moment in my life was when a peanut bounced off my head in a bar. It led to the only resolution I can remember actually sticking to.

Teakwoods was a great bar. Sports were on, food was served late, and drinks were cheap. It was close to Tempe but light-years away from scenester hell. And it had a floor littered with shells from all the free peanuts. (I can't find evidence that the one I frequented about twice a month for years is still around — but the chain's got a Web site, www.teakwoodstavern.com.)

One night, I was there with a friend when a guy from the booth behind her waved me down. I politely shrugged him off. Then he got weird and stared — for a long time. My intuition flared. I looked straight at him and said, "Hey. Not. Interested." As soon as I broke eye contact, I felt the ping of a peanut bounce off my forehead.


Resolution Guide

I got up and locked onto the first waiter I saw. I felt like an idiot when I said, "Let me talk to a manager. That guy threw a peanut at my head."

Upcoming Events

Needless to say, the waiter wasn't scandalized.

"Bring the check. We are never fucking coming back again" was my only defense.

On my way out, peanut-thrower walked toward me. As he passed, he smacked his shoulder into mine, the way dudes do when they're ready to throw down.

He wanted to kill me — and worse. The sicko. And Teakwoods would not help me.

I took it personally.

I cried all the way home and it was two years before I set foot in Teakwoods again for a social situation I couldn't avoid. For the record, my one drink tasted like crap.

I've never been back.

Upcoming Events

Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >