JeanPants: For the Never-Nudes (and Never-Should-Be-Nudes)
In today's example of underwear gone rogue (and totally wrong), we bring you JeanPants, which give the look and feel of denim in the form of underwear, that also look like they might cut off circulation and seriously reduce your sperm count.
In the same vain as 'pajama jeans,' these $61 (plus $18 for shipping) pair of briefs are a stretchy pull-on cotton and polyurethane blend that, as Japan Trend Shop says, "are pert, durable and oozing zeitgeist appeal."
Wrong for at least two reasons: one, "pert" and "durable" are words more often used to describe breast implants, and two, "oozing," really?
"You can say so much about yourself with your choice of underwear," the site continues.
The All-Star Comedy Explosion
TicketsSat., Apr. 15, 8:00pm
An American in Paris
TicketsTue., Apr. 18, 7:30pm
Rancho Solano Preparatory School: Fiddler on the Roof Jr.
TicketsThu., Apr. 27, 7:00pm
Beauty and the Beast by Ballet Etudes
TicketsSat., Apr. 29, 2:00pm
Thunder From Down Under
TicketsThu., May. 4, 8:00pm
Agreed. JeanPants say you're a tasteless male who probably also wears Ed Hardy and expects zero consequences. Trust us, no one wants to see your junk crammed into a tight pair of jorts after a night out at the club.
But, for now, at least all you Never-Nudes know what to wear in the shower.
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