New Year's Eve Dos and Don'ts

Yes, Happy New Year! It will never look this good!
Yes, Happy New Year! It will never look this good!
www.flickr.com/photos/zooboing

Another year, another New Year's Eve celebration that could go very right ... or very wrong.

We're here to help you. Read this list to ensure having the best NYE ever. Or, at the very least, read this list to ensure not having the worst NYE ever.

Do manage expectations. See what we did with the intro? You can't expect the stars to align every year to give you the best party situation of your life. Get over it. Lower the bar.

We admire your sobriety. Now please save us from rapists.
We admire your sobriety. Now please save us from rapists.
www.flickr.com/photos/chrisyarzab

Do include a recovered alcoholic in your entourage. We all have a friend who no longer drinks and is no longer tempted to do so. This person is essential to a good party. Not only can they tear it up in their own sober way -- which is somehow more disturbing than your drunken antics -- but they will make sure you don't get rufied.

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Do plan ahead for transportation. You're a moron if you assume you can just call a cab on New Year's Eve. Ever try? Wait time is usually four hours. Which means you'll be walking home in the cold. Happy 2011!

Don't chase the dragon. This is not a reference to drugs. What we mean is this: don't hop from party to party looking for the best one. What are you expecting anyway? Just stick to one spot and decide to have a good time. You have the power.

These will harm you.
These will harm you.
www.flickr.com/photos/cmatsuoka

Do think about your feet. Ladies, if you strap on a pair of impossible stilettos, we expect you to wear them all night. No one wants to see your bare feet on a party floor with confetti and cigarette butts stuck to the bottom (ew). We say go for something more practical. Or bring a pair of backup flats.

Don't be the girl who cries. There's always one of these at every NYE party. If your 2010 sucked and you think you might get emotional about it, stay home and cry by yourself because we don't want to see that shit.

Do dress weather appropriate. So the low for NYE in Phoenix is 29 freakin' degrees. We've covered this before in our Winter Fashion Don't for Phoenix but allow us to reiterate: you will not look attractive in your skanky party dress if you're hunched over, shivering, with goose-bumpy skin.

Don't send the mass "Happy New Year's!" text. Annoying! Are you trying to be sincere? Because sending sentiments through this most impersonal mode of communication is just pathetic. Plus, we all know it's a mass text and that makes us feel even less special than no text at all.

Do prepare your body. During New Year's Eve day, there are many things you must do: drink lots of water, take your vitamins, eat three full meals, and take your birth control pill.


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