Only a handful of days remain until the end of the Naughties, which means it's time to look back on this massively madcap decade. And, frankly, it's been something of a downer. While sci-fi flicks promised rocket-powered cars and orgasmatrons by now, the past 10 years have wrought the quagmire of foreign wars, inept leaders, and some pretty whiny music. You've got one last chance to create a couple of outstanding memories before we put 2009 in the rearview mirror: New Year's Eve. As always, Auld Lang Syne offers a slew of swanky soirées and outrageous antics to engage in, especially here in the Valley. We've scoured the Internets and beaten the streets in search of the biggest of the big-time bashes taking place on Thursday, December 31 (unless otherwise specified).
440 N. 32nd St.
Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers welcome 2010 with a special New Year's Eve concert. 9 p.m. $40-$50. Call 602-267-1600.
New Year's Eve Guide
400 W. Washington St.
Joel McHale, host of The Soup, brings his stand-up comedy act to the Valley. 8 p.m. $27.50-$47.50. Visit www.livenation.com.
7575 E. Princess Dr., Scottsdale
The Stone Rose Lounge will feature beats by DJ Exclusive, a complimentary midnight champagne toast, and more. Special room rates are also available for $199 (which include two tickets to the party). 9 p.m. $50. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org to RSVP.
Fort McDowell Casino
10424 N. Fort McDowell Rd., Fort McDowell
Free appetizers until midnight, party hats and beads, champagne toast, live music from Sensations Band in the Lucky 7 Saloon at 9 p.m., and more. 7 p.m. Call 800-843-3678.
Hotel Valley Ho
6850 E. Main St., Scottsdale
Party like it's 1959 in the Zuzu Lounge with cocktails, midnight countdown, DJ P-Body, and more. 9 p.m. Trader Vic's will offer a special dinner menu from 5-10 p.m. for $65 per person. Room packages also start at $199. Call 480-248-2000.
Insight Fiesta Bowl Block Party
Mill Avenue District, Tempe
The 2009 version of the event features performances by The Doobie Brothers and more than 30 local bands and acts, including Tramps and Thieves, Strange Family Circus, The Preserve, Surf Guitar Villains, 60 Degrees North, and Duct Tape Repairman. There's also magic shows, air guitar competitions, parades, pep rallies, food and drink vendors, the midnight countdown drop, a "Legends of Rock Lane" and a fireworks show. 4 p.m. to 12:15 a.m. $20. Call 480-350-0911.
4949 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley
The resort's Cortijo Plaza and Mbar host live entertainment from DJ Senbad, Quetzal Guerro and the Warriors, and EPIC Dance Company. 5 p.m., $25. Call 480-627-3200.
730 S. Mill Ave., Tempe
Do the "Time Warp" into 2010 as the local Come As You Are troupe performs the first Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast of the new year. 10:30 p.m. Friday, January 1. $10. Call 602-705-6685 or visit www.azrocky.com.
7353 E. Indian School Rd., Scottsdale
This high-style New Year's fete offers live music by Rebel Jack, lingerie-clad models, DJ Design in the Red Bar, DJ Tricky T in the Midnight Room, Martini & Rossi champagne toast at midnight, $5 holiday martinis, a Viennese dessert bar with tempting cupcakes by Sprinkles, and more. Special room rates and packages are also available. 9 p.m., $45. Call 480-308-1100 or visit newyearseve.morganshotelgroup.com.
Sun Devil Stadium
500 E. Veterans Way, Tempe
The Minnesota Golden Gophers will face off against the Iowa State Cyclones during the annual Insight Bowl. 4 p.m. kick-off. $20-$80. Call 480-350-0900 or visit www.insightbowl.org.
930 E. University Dr., Tempe
Charlie Murphy will supply the laughs on New Year's Eve. $60 for the 7 p.m. show, and $65 for the 10 p.m. show. Call 480-921-9877.
Westgate City Center
9400 W. Maryland Ave., Glendale
Westgate Rocks New Year's Eve with live music from Metalhead and Rock Lobster, midnight weddings, and more. 7 p.m.; $10 in advance, $20 at the door, $30 for VIP access. Call 623-772-4000.
The Wrigley Mansion
2501 E. Telawa Trail
Geordie's Lounge hosts music by Ivan Harshman, party favors, champagne toast at midnight. A regular dinner menu will also be offered from 5 to 10 p.m. $50 per person ($25 for dinner patrons). 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Call 602-955-4079.
5202 N. Central Ave.
The regular à la carte menu will be available with a variety of special deals (as well as no forced prix fixe), including such appetizing choices as seafood cannelloni, Chateaubriand, rack of lamb, Chilean sea bass, and veal chop Milanese. Reservations requested and menu prices vary. 4-11 p.m. Call 602-277-8700.
398 S. Mill Ave., Tempe
This Mill Avenue eatery will offer a five-course New Year's special menu, as well as champagne, party favors, and more. Prices vary. 5 p.m. Call 480-968-9112.
The Compound Grill
7000 E. Mayo Blvd.
Tea Leaf Green hosts a New Year's Bash featuring a champagne toast, drink specials, and more. 9 p.m. $45. Call 480-585-5483.
4991 S. Alma School Rd., Chandler
Enjoy a four-course dinner, with the option of a fifth fish course for an additional $15. Seatings available at 5:30 p.m. ($75 per person) and 8:15 p.m. ($95 per person), the latter of which includes live entertainment, dancing, and a champagne toast at midnight. Reservations requested. Call 480-883-3773.
2000 E. Rio Salado Prkwy., Tempe
New Year's Eve Dinner featuring a "Party Chef" menu from 5 to 10 p.m. (prices vary). A raucous celebration will also be offered, promising an appetizer buffet, champagne toast, and music by Modrockers. 9 p.m. $20 (or free for dinner guests). Call 480-557-9087.
20585 N. 59th Ave., Glendale
Live music, drink specials, shrimp and prime rib dinner specials, and a midnight champagne toast. 11 p.m. Call 623-566-8100.
Dos Gringos Mesa
1958 S. Greenfield Rd.
Mad Hatter's New Year's Eve Tea party with $4 sweet tea vodkas and Captain 100s, as well as DJ Al spinning the hits, 10 p.m. Call 480-633-5525.
713 E. Palo Verde Dr.
Buffet, music by DJ Chazbill, and more. Reservations required. $29.95 per person. Call 602-277-1151.
Iguana Mack's Arizona Roadhouse
1371 N. Alma School Rd., Chandler
DJs, dancing, and a midnight champagne toast. 4 p.m., $10 cover after 9 p.m. Call 480-899-6735.
The Keg Steakhouse & Bar
21001 N. Tatum Blvd.
In addition to a special New Year's Eve fixed-price menu, surf-and-turf dinners will be available for $39.95. 4 p.m. Call 480-419-7772.
606 N. 4th Ave.
Champagne will be available for half price on New Years Eve and a special brunch will be offered from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. on New Year's Day. Call 602-368-3613.
4338 W. Bell Rd., Glendale
Feast on prime rib, lasagna, shrimp jambalaya, pesto-crusted salmon and other comestibles during Padre's Auld Lang Syne affair. Party favors, DJs, dancing, karaoke, and a champagne toast are also planned. 7 p.m., $25. Call 602-547-9406.
4252 N. Drinkwater Blvd., Scottsdale
Treat your S.O. to an evening of bliss, including dinner for two, tickets to the New Year's party at the nearby Whisper Lounge, and two drinks. 5 p.m.-10 p.m., $65 per couple. Call 480-980-0384.
7216 E. Shoeman Lane, Scottsdale
Enjoy a five-course classic French dinner with paired wines and all of the trimmings. 5 p.m. $85 per person ($25 extra for paired wine flights). Call 480-991-6887.
Four Valley locations
Ring in the new year at each location with live music, DJs, dancing, ice luges, heated patios, hotties sporting body paint, and more. Drink specials include $49.99 Cuervo bottle service (with complimentary mixers), $2 Captain Morgan beverages, 50-cent Coronas from 11 p.m. to midnight, and more. 8 p.m. Call 480-922-6274.
2566 E. Camelback Rd.
Kappa Alpha Psi's New Year's Eve Groove 2010 with a red carpet, champagne, and two rooms of DJs spinning R&B, hip-hop, and Top 40. 9 p.m.; $30 singles, $50 couples. Visit phoenixkappasnewyears.eventbrite.com.
Sign of the Whale
1706 E. Warner Rd., Tempe www.signofthewhaleaz.com
New Year's Eve dinner with karaoke and plenty of a la carte menu selections. 5 p.m. Call 480-777-1414.
SKYE Fine Dining & Live Entertainment
16844 N. Arrowhead Fountatin Center, Peoria
This West Valley nightspot will offer a lavish celebration boasting a four-course dinner, live entertainment from Terrry & Anne Davies and the Skye Band, and champagne at midnight. 7 p.m., $150. Call 623-334-0010.
25 W. Van Buren St. Sleuth your ways through the interactive Mystery Mansion Dinner Theater while partaking in a three-course dinner with complimentary glass of champagne or wine, party favors, and other games and prizes. 7:30 p.m., $65. Call 480-994-1520.
Squaw Peak Café
2333 E. Thomas Rd.
Dine in style with a three-course selected menu (which includes a glass of champagne). 5-10:30 p.m., $17.50 per person. Call 602-957-1910.
BARS & CLUBS
4282 N. Drinkwater Blvd., Scottsdale
Underage revelers can celebrate the New Year during the all-ages "Leavin' '09 & Bringin' in the Dyme" party, which runs until 4 a.m. and features live shower shows, a full hookah bar, casino games, energy drinks, and the trio of DJ Nforce, Jon Amaral, and DJ Breez on the wheels of steel. 9 p.m., $20 before 10:30 p.m. Call 480-264-8300.
5749 N. 7th St.
Perfect 10 party with free appetizers, party favors, and drag shows by Barbra Seville, Devina Ross, and more. 9 p.m. Call 602-336-0126.
7340 E. Indian Plaza, Scottsdale
Blast-off into the next decade at the Space Odyssey 2010 party, which features laser light shows, astronaut break dancers, groovy go-go girls, and beats from DJ J. Alan and DJ Swerv. 9 p.m.; $28 for singles, $48 for couples (or $38 for a three-club pass providing access to Myst and Suede). Call 480-970-1112.
The Big Bang
501 S. Mill Ave.
Live dueling piano entertainment will be offered all evening with a free toast at midnight. Table reservations are also available (and include a free bottle of champagne). 6 p.m. Call 480-557-5595for cover.
Big Fish Pub
1954 E. University Dr., Tempe www.myspace.com/azbigfish
Black Diamond Promotions offers a hip-hop hootenanny with performances from Vendetta Kingz, Jeopardyzd Productions, DJ J20, PornoGrafick, 520 Boyz, and more. 9 p.m., $10. Call 480-449-3474.
12014 N. 32nd St.
New Year's Eve Bash featuring no cover, complimentary champagne toast, music by Terashain, and more. 9 p.m. Call 602-788-4574.
28244 N. Tatum Blvd., Cave Creek
Bid farewell to 2009 by supping on special menu selections, listening to the rock jams of Pete and the Shortcummings, and participating in a midnight champagne toast. 6 p.m. Call 480-538-8008.
Cream Stereo Lounge
4252 N. Drinkwater Blvd., Scottsdale
Masquerade Ball featuring an outdoor party pavilion, circus acts, bubble-bath shows, midnight champagne toast, and more. The soundtrack will be provided by Turner & Heit, DJ Aaron Taylor, and DJ Decipha. 8 p.m. $20 general admission, $30 for VIP access. Visit www.wanttickets.com.
680 S. Mill Ave., Tempe This Vegas-themed celebration offers drink specials, midnight ball drop, and music from DJ V-EZ and DJ Nightlife. 10 p.m.; $10 in advance, $15 at the door. Call 480-967-3917 or visit www.fattuesdaytempe.com.
1989 W. Elliot Rd., Chandler
www.fibbermageespub.com New Year's Eve extravaganza with music from Capital Down. 8 p.m.; $10 general admission, $50 for a special drink package. Call 480-722-9434.
1615 N Apache Trail, Apache Junction
This roadhouse's Cowboy Dress-up party will feature music from the Jeff Stevens Band, and more. 5 p.m., $40 per couple. Call 480-671-3056.
Goat Head Saloon
1423 S. Country Club Dr., Mesa San Diego's Cash'd Out performs. 8 p.m. $14. Call 480-464-8030.
Graham's Central Station
7850 S. Priest Dr., Tempe
Champagne, DJs, and dancing in four different rooms, $1.25 you-call-its and no cover until 8 p.m., midnight balloon drop, and more. 6 p.m. Call 480-496-0799.
2610 W. Baseline Rd., Mesa
Vil Vodka's Insane New Year's Party with Grave Danger, Robot Tank, The Cosmeticators, Janitors of Anarchy, and DJ Johnny Volume. 8 p.m., $5. Call 480-820-7117.
4139 W. Bell Rd.
Busted at the Bay Bailout Bash, offering $2,000 in cash and prizes, beats by DJ Knicknack, complimentary midnight champagne toast, party favors, and other surprises. 7 p.m., $20. Call 602-843-6100.
Ice House Tavern
3855 E. Thomas Rd.
Music from Quarter Inch Crown, Fatigo, and Sweetbleeders. 10 p.m. Call 602-244-1179.
5945 W. Ray Rd., Chandler
Party favors, midnight champagne toast, drink and food specials like $1 Red Headed Sluts and Washington Apples, music from Angry Inch, and a free shuttle service for patrons (pick-up reservations required). 7 p.m. Call 480-313-3041.
13825 N. 32nd St.
Tattooed Soul, free food, party favors, champagne toast, and more. 8 p.m., $10. Call 602-992-1007.
Marc's Sports Grill & Nightlife
4494 W. Peoria Ave., Glendale
Karaoke in the MarcTini Lounge, DJs and dancing, party favors and noisemakers, shot specials, and a balloon drop and champagne toast at midnight. 9 p.m. $5. Call 623-842-1053.
7295 E. Stetson Dr., Scottsdale
Rock Lobster, Halo Machine, and Green Ears will perform at this New Years Eve fete. 8 p.m., $10. Call 480-970-0500.
7340 E. Shoeman Ln., Scottsdale
Dionysian-style 2010 B.C. with complimentary cocktails, champagne and hors d'oeuvres from 9 to 10 p.m., DJs, and more. 9 p.m. The club re-opens at 4 a.m. for the after-hours "Mystified Sunrise" party. $28 for singles, $48 for couples (or $38 for a three-club pass providing access to Axis/Radius and Suede). Call 480-970-5000.
O'Kelley's Sports Bar & Grill
2120 W. Guadalupe Rd., Mesa
Music by Rock Addix, drink specials, and a midnight champagne toast. 9:30 p.m. Call 480-756-6069.
122 E. Washington St.
Upscale Entertainment's New Year's Eve Bash featuring an open bar until 9 p.m., two-for-one drinks until 10 p.m., complimentary hors d'oeuvres, midnight toast and balloon drop, specials on Hennessy Black, and the turntable trio of DJs Robby Rob, Illmatic, and Kaydee in the mix. 8 p.m. $15 pre-sale, $50-$700 for VIP access (which include champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, express entry, and more). Call 602-373-0600.
4426 N. Saddlebag Trail, Scottsdale
The Afterglow 2010 after-hours party lasts until noon on New Year's Day and features an aerial bondage performance, laser and black light ultraviolet paint shows, exotic dancers, and more. The wheels of steel will be worked by such DJs as Tranzit, Turner & Heit, R`Mani, Beatnick, and Class Act. 4 a.m. Call 480-481-3100 for cover.
15615 N. Cave Creek Rd.
New Year's Eve party featuring a drag show, dancing, drink specials, party favors, and more. 9 p.m. Call 602-971-1086.
1019 E. Indian School Rd. New Year's Eve party with The Fremonts, midnight champagne toast, party favors, and more. 8 p.m. $15. Call 602-265-4842.
2701 E. Indian School Rd. New Year's Eve celebration featuring a complimentary champagne toast at midnight. Open until 2 a.m. Call 602-956-8998.
15688 N. Pima Rd.
New Year's Eve party featuring dinner and beverage packages, music from The Brazen Heads, midnight champagne toast, and more. 8 p.m., $75. Call 480-609-8677.
7333 E. Indian Plaza, Scottsdale Bubble and Bottles celebration with music from DJ Nameless, complimentary Champagne Toast, and more. 8 p.m., $18 (or $38 for a three-club pass providing access to Myst and Axis/Radius). Call 480-970-6969.
2915 N. 68th St., Scottsdale
Party favors, free champagne toast, and more. Open until 2 a.m. Call 480-947-8723.
27th Avenue Bar & Grill
2038 N. 27th Ave. DJ Moy and DJ Jared Paul, drink specials, and more. Call 602-272-3146.
4041 N. 40th St.
Chic New Year's celebration with DJ JonnY Rogers. Drink specials, champagne toast, party favors, and two "Vig Rigs" providing rides home. 9 p.m. Call 602-553-7227.
2623 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale
1-cent drinks all night, and more. 9 p.m. $30 for singles, $50 for couples. Call 480-423-7087.
Yucca Tap Room
29 W. Southern Ave., Tempe
Champagne toast, party favors, and rock by The Love Me Nots, Scorpion vs. Tarantula, and Labor Party. 9 p.m. Call 480-967-4777.
Can't Miss: Scottsdale's Ultimate Block Party
The ska-punk wiseacres of Reel Big Fish headline this ginormous Auld Lange Syne affair encompassing three different bars along Craftsman Court in Scottsdale. SoCal reggae/hip-hop act The Dirty Heads are also scheduled to perform, as are local bands Metal Elvis, Letters to Lovers, and Hairforce. A midnight fireworks show, street vendors, and DJ sessions, are also planned. 6 p.m. $10 before 9 p.m., $35 afterwards. See www.ticketmaster.com.
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The life and music of the "Hardest Working Man in Entertainment" will be feted by Modern Groove Assembly, Jeremy Ellis, Josh One, and members of UK DJ collective Bugz in the Attic, during The Godfather: A Multimedia Tribute to James Brown at the Sail Inn, 26 South Farmer Avenue in Tempe. The event also serves as a retro costume ball of sorts (where attendees in their funkiest '70s outfits get $5 off admission) featuring hors d'oeuvres, midnight champagne toast, party favors, and more. 8 p.m. $10 pre-sale, $20 at the door. Call 480-966-9565.
Turntablists from five of the PHX's hottest club nights (such as fauxShow, The Shop, Solstice, and Blunt Club) combine forces for an off-the-hook extravaganza of hot beats and dance music treats at Club Red, 2155 East University Drive in Tempe. The lineup includes spin sessions from the likes of Jared Alan, Silver Medallion, Pickster One, Al Page, Benjamin Cutswell, and "house music souldiers" Pete Salaz and Senbad. 8 p.m., $15 pre-sale, $20 at the door. Call 480-966-4733 or visit www.universatilemusic.com.