Good news, ladies:
For those assertive sex kittens who have long since given up on finding Prince Charming and would rather make their fame the Kardshian way, porn star James Deen (known among more mainstream audiences for his "performance" with Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons) is now offering the chance for 15 minutes of fame.
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According to the porn star's official website (which is definitely NSFW), Deen is now accepting sex applications from women of all shapes, sizes, and ages (over 18) across the country. It's like Win a Date With Tad Hamilton meets a XXX movie.
Women interested in participating in this sex sweepstakes simply need to submit their name, contact info, and some basic full-body photos. But here's the catch, these encounters will be documented, distributed, and definitely stick with you for the rest of your online existence.
Should this not bother you, the Willy Wonka of wang also wants women to know that because he is an equal opportunity employer, the number of accepted applicants will not be limited. However, because Deen's site claims that he is absolutely bombarded by literally hundreds of women wanting to bang him on the daily, those applying to this rolling admission casting call are advised to be patient.
Because patience, much like having lowbrow sex on camera, is a virtue.