Hundreds of years of ago, when people thought of the future and what the year 2017 would look like, I'm sure they envisioned a plethora of exciting advancements. Flying cars. A cure for cancer. World peace.
And while world peace is still nowhere in sight, we can all rest assured that in 2017 something unimaginable was created: the RompHim, a romper (a universally unflattering onesie, traditionally worn by women) designed for men.
As a self-proclaimed fashionista and cynical feminist, I personally never thought I'd see the day when the fashion industry would make such a bold, feminist statement. After all, feminism is all about equality. So it follows that men should equally be inconvenienced and restricted by their fashion garments, just like women have been for centuries.
You see the romper requires women, and now men, to undress completely when they use the restroom.
Impractical? Sure. Improperly designed for anyone post-diaper age? Most definitely. But who cares about practicality when you can buy a romper with sunflowers on it at Forever 21 for $15? An irresistible deal all around. And besides, as we all know, the idea of women using the bathroom is completely disgusting, so why not embrace a piece of clothing that makes bodily functions super inconveniencing?
Now, with the RompHim, men will have to do so much more than pull down a zipper if they want to relieve themselves. They'll have to undress completely, which means more men will either be using the stalls or the urinal situation is about to get a little more intimate. Finally, men will have a piece of clothing that will allow them to be vulnerable, uncomfortable, and half-naked (and completely naked while using the restroom), all while staying on trend with summer fashions.
In addition to creating uncomfortable situations in the restroom, the romper also gives off the impression that you're slightly slutty. I mean why else would anyone purchase a piece of clothing that affords you the opportunity to get completely naked in a quarter-second? Obviously, that means that anyone who purchases and then wears a romper is probably down to have sex anywhere, at anytime. For women, articles of clothing dictate to men their openness and willingness for sexual advancements (hello, rape culture), and now men get to experience that same blessing!
“Look at that dude in the RompHim, he totally wants it. Why else would he dress like that?”
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“Ay, boy. Looking sexy in that RompHim. Why don’t you smile?”
For only $95, men can purchase their very own RompHim from ACED Design's Kickstarter page. One can expect their RompHim to arrive by Fourth of July (there's even a special Fourth of July special edition of the RompHim), just in time to impress the babes at the barbecues. Currently, the RompHim Kickstarter has over $277,000 worth of pledges and over 2,000 backers. The page also has a sweet sizing guide for men who are worried about that tricky chest/waist/height ratio.
At last, men can express their overt sexuality through an article of clothing. It’s been so hard for us ladies to determine if a guy is into us when he’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt! Now, when we see a man in a RompHim, we can make endless assumptions about whether or not he's DTF (and if he’s wearing a RompHim, I’m guessing the answer is yes).
So while women still make 75 cents for every dollar that a man makes and have groups of men making decisions about our right and access to health care, at least we’re making progress in one area equality: the right for women and men to wear rompers.