Ordinarily, faking it during sex is pretty much considered to be bad form and also might lead to hurt feelings, bruised egos, and maybe even a breakup.
However, faking it during the Air Sex World Championships, especially in over-the-top fashion, is not only acceptable, but is downright expected, and might lead to excited cheers, an afterglow of triumph, and maybe even nationwide fame.
As you can guess by its name, the raunchy and ridiculous touring event -- which takes place in cities across the U.S., including a stop at Phoenix's FilmBar next month -- encourages its hump-happy participants to bust out with over-exaggerated and ludicrously humorous simulations of sexual activity with invisible partners that's set to music.
See also: 10 Best Sex Scenes of 2013 (NSFW)
A panel of three judges -- including comedian, Air Sex producer, and host Chris Trew -- rates each routine and ultimately decide the winner, with the best Air Sex performers in each city becoming eligible to participate in the national finals in Austin, Texas, later this year.
The Air Sex World Championships are somewhat akin to performing an epic air guitar solo (hence its name), with all manner of wild flailing and weird expressions involved while living out a fantasy, only you're busting thrusts or imitating porn stars more than shredding riffs and duplicating rock stars.
Needless to say, it's an event open to anyone with a bit of an exhibitionistic streak (and a desire to show off their skills between the sheets) that's a total blast of bawdy fun for spectators or participants alike.
Just ask FilmBar's Andrea Beesley, the local cult movie guru who not only helps promote the Air Sex World Championships whenever it, uh, comes through Phoenix (including this year's edition on Tuesday, August 5), but has also performed a couple of crazy routines herself, including one called, "One Girl, One Cup."
"Yeah, I've done it twice, and it was great fun, but definitely was one the most embarrassing things I've ever done in my whole life. It was fucking terrible," she says, laughing. "I think the more fun and the more over-the-top you get [while performing], it helps get the audience more riled up and makes it fun for them."
The Air Sex World Championships, which started out in Austin back in 2009, hasn't been through Phoenix in a couple of years. When the tour last visited the Valley in 2010 and 2011, Beesley says, local participants definitely went all out, including hamming it up with comically exaggerated grinding, grunting, teasing, and fondling. There are even props, like one person who used Twinkies.
"Those ended up all over the place," Beesley says. "It was a mess."
In 2010, for instance, one dude named "Dur Bear" did some faux fornicating while wearing roller skates, Daisy Dukes, and a T-shirt that said "Born to Fuck" when the event was held at the now-defunct Madcap Theaters in Tempe.
Also that year, a female Air Sex contestant known as "Cunt Tastrophe," who stripped down to her skivvies and put an impressive show involving invisible sex toys and a folding chair. Beesley says it was a "tremendous" performance that brought the house down and gave the local participant the win that year.
"Cunt Tastrophe was so realistic and energetic. It was great," Beesley says. "I remember when she was doing her routine, people were just screaming and losing it because she was so into it."
Enthusiasm and audience involvement is the key to any great Air Sex performance, Beesley says, which is something to keep in mind if you're down for getting down at this year's edition. (Anyone interested in participating can e-mail email@example.com for more info.)
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Oh, and having the perfect anthem to help set the mood and drive the action.
"People should pick a good song, I would say," Beesley says. "Like something that you really like or are really comfortable with and will help you just go all out. No one should be embarrassed, even though its kind of hard not to be, and just get up, get down, and have fun."
Air Sex World Championships will take place on Tuesday, August 5, at FilmBar.