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The Five Best XXX Superhero Parodies (NSFW)

Lexi Swallow (left) as Ms. Marvel and Danni Cole as Scarlet Witch in Avengers XXX..
Lexi Swallow (left) as Ms. Marvel and Danni Cole as Scarlet Witch in Avengers XXX..
vivid.com

Whenever a new comic book movie hits theaters, two things are pretty certain -- it will rake in an effload of cash (Green Lantern notwithstanding) and porn producers somewhere will have an utterly explicit parody of the flick out in short order. Case in point: the latest Superman cinematic adventure Man of Steel makes its silver screen debut today, and the infamous Vivid Entertainment will drop its salacious send-up of the reboot next week.

Like the major Hollywood studios, such skin flick companies as Vivid and its competitors have been making a mint over the past couple years or so cashing in on satirizing comic book heroes and villains that make the transition to the big screen.

See also: The Geek Girls, Booth Babes, and Sexy Super-heroines of Phoenix Comicon 2013 Game of Thrones: Five Best Sex Scenes From Seasons One, Two, & Three (NSFW)

Ryan Driller as Superman from Man of Steel XXX. So close to Henry Cavill's Kal-El that even Jor-El couldn't tell the difference.
Ryan Driller as Superman from Man of Steel XXX. So close to Henry Cavill's Kal-El that even Jor-El couldn't tell the difference.
vivid.com

Putting metahumans, übermenschen, and costumed titans like Superman and Batman in compromising positions or risque situations is certainly nothing new (as the practice has been around about as long as the comic book characters themselves), there's been a recent trend in releasing barely legal (in the copyright sense) pornos starring legendary pulp heroes and villains dubbed as "parody."

One of the big auteurs (if such a term is applicable with nudie movies) in the genre is Axel Braun, the Italian-born libertine and blue movie baron who's infamous for his adult film spoofs of TV shows and pop culture institutions -- including his This Aint... series for Hustler lampooning everything from Beverly Hills 90210 and Star Trek to childhood toon favorites The Smurfs (wowzers), as well as the dozen or so of his comic book-inspired parodies starting with 2010's Batman XXX.

So prolific is Braun that Vivid created a special "Superhero" imprint (complete with its own page-flipping animated intro à la Marvel Studios) for the director's creations, the latest of which include the aforementioned Man of Steel XXX and a pornographic version of Wolverine later this summer in honor of Hugh Jackman's latest outing as Weapon X.

There's always imitators in the porn world, so after Braun's Batman XXX did boffo business, rivals "Bluebird Films and Exquisite Films' "Extreme Comixxx" imprint got into the hardcore superhero game and sought to become the Marvel to Vivid's DC with their own parodies of such characters as The Dark Knight, Wonder Woman, and Captain America.

Besides giving intellectual property lawyers fits -- the parodies are firmly protected under the "fair use" portion of the Copyright Act of 1976 -- and providing the obvious titillation factor, these superhero skin flicks are often laugh-inducing (either intentionally or unintentionally), entertaining in a so-bad-it's-good sorta way, feature comic book-accurate costumes, and can be even geekier and a more precise adaptation than their multi-million dollar counterparts.

What follows is a list of five of our favorites. XXXcelsior!

 

She Hulk XXX There are few human trainwrecks in either the porn world or the pop culture entire as former WWE star and reality TV refugee Joanie "Chyna" Laurer. It's why she was a perfect choice to portray the conflicted/complicated green-skinned and gamma-irradiated trainwreck alter ego of Jennifer Walters (a law student who's gunned down by the mob and gets a blood transfusion from her cousin Bruce Banner). Yes, Laurer's acting chops leave much to be desired, but it's porno after all, not Shakespeare. Plus the Amazonian rassler was always good at rampaging, whether in a WWE ring or elsewhere.

Superman vs Spider-Man XXX Despite his porn industry credentials, Braun is apparently a huge geek at heart, considering this video from last November borrows the cover art from the 1976 crossover of the same name and some of the plot points and villains (i.e. Kal-El and Spidey battling Doc Ock and Lex Luthor). It also riffs on the late-'70s Superman movie and features Black Cat, Spider-Girl, and Super-Girl to boot.

There isn't much in the way of the titular conflict between the heroes (save for a brief rooftop scuffle), nor are there any, um...man-on-man shenanigans. One cheeky British adult film fan calling himself The Porn Critic thought the video was "pretty weird," but, like the old saying goes, who watches these things for the plot anyways? He was also astounded that Vivid did what Marvel and DC haven't: Make a cinematic crossover featuring their two universes. "It amazes me that the porn industry is actually giving the fan-boys their wet dream come true," he says.

 


BATFXXX Dark Knight Parody by kahramanlarsinemada

BatFXXX: A Dark Night Parody It shouldn't come as a surprise that Vivid Superhero and Extreme Comixxx series each produced dirty knockoffs of 2008's beyond-popular The Dark Knight. (Both have also made dueling versions of Iron Man and Thor).

But while Vivid's version gets some reluctant geek points for cribbing a few twisted scenarios from Alan Moore's landmark graphic novel The Killing Joke (itself a major influence on the Nolanverse's magnum opus) and featuring both Bane and the Clown Prince of Chaos, we prefer BatFXXX since its production values are a bit better and the acting seems less forced (seriously). It also won a few AVN awards (a.k.a. the Oscars of porn).

The Justice League XXX Honest Trailers probably framed the mood that's likely ensued over at Marvel's chief competitor since The Avengers' rampant success at the box office by stating the $1.5 billion blockbuster "put all of DC Comics on suicide watch." The folks at the erstwhile Detective Comics have yet to precisely formulate how they're gonna get the Justice League movie into theatres two summers from now (although conflicting online rumors are everywhere), so this 2011 spoof by Extreme Comixxx is the closest nerds are gonna get to a live-action JLA.

The core of the team (The Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern, et al.) is featured in a battle with a rogue's gallery of their greatest foes including Harley Quinn, Catwoman, and The Penguin. The producers use the Justice League Watchtower as a home base (No Hall of Justice from Super Friends?) and Evan Stone makes for arguably a more amusing Batman than Geroge Clooney. However, we could've done without the video's kinda gross substitute for Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth. Ewww.

 

The Avengers XXX As much as we enjoyed watching Thor Odinson, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, and, uh...those other J.V. characters war with each other and Loki for two-and-a-half hours last summer, there were several problems with Joss Whedon's picture. Like the previously mentioned and oft-criticized dearth of more big-name characters from the Marvel canon, for instance.

If you're the sort who's in agreement with such nit-pickery, you might enjoy the fact that Braun assembled an even greater number of "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" for his sex-filled romp. In addition to all the usual suspects it's got significantly more female heroes like Ms. Marvel, Spider Woman, and Scarlet Witch, which were sure is for practicality's sake and the conceits of porn (Marvel's The Avengers only had two hot chicks and a lot of dudes...you do the math).

Everyone also has their original comic book duds, which should thrill the die-hards, and legendary porno thespian Lexington Steel as Nick Fury is a funny, over-the-top and badass choice (especially if you grew weary of Samuel L. Jackson's shtick). Plus, the plot involves Bruce Banner's alter ego as an antagonist of sorts, an storyline made famous by such epic arcs as World War Hulk. The only thing missing would've been Stan Lee making one of his trademark cameos.

Curiously enough, its been reported in recent months that Whedon is drafting Scarlet Witch for his 2015 sequel after this video came out last year, leaving us wondering if he's taking his cues from Braun.

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