The Five Worst Valentine's Day Gifts
We're sure you'll agree that the living room couch isn't the most comfy place in the world to spend a night or two. If you happen to choose the wrong Valentine's Day gift for your main squeeze, however, surfing the sofa is exactly what you'll be doing.
Picking the right gift to give a paramour is decidedly a tough task since sometimes chocolates, a coffee mug, or a stuffed animal just won't cut it. So in an attempt to help our readers avoid such a fate, we've assembled a list of six things you should absolutely never give on V-Day.
5. Their Name Tattooed on Your Body
No matter how long the relationship may have lasted, it's always a bad idea to get their name inked into your flesh. Why tempt fate? Breakups happen all the time. Plus, it might seem a little stalkerish.
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4. Anything Inappropriately Sexual
Edible panties or flavored lotions might be a cute (if a little hackneyed) way to tell him or her that you'd like to knock boots on February 14. Reenacting the "Dick in a Box" from Saturday Night Live, suggesting a night out at a local swingers club, or giving 'em a book about having a three-way is not.
3. Home Appliances and Housewares
The most romantic holiday of the year and you bought something downright practical like a microwave, blender, or vacuum cleaner? Bad idea. Not only is it quite unimaginative, it also send the message that you think your S.O. needs to spend more time in the kitchen or doing chores around the house.
I love you. You're perfect. Now change.
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2. Self-Help Books and Material
When you want to tell the one nearest and dearest to your heart that while they're perfect in every way, they could stand to lose a few pounds or quit smoking.
In the days leading up to Valentine's Day, an increasing number of street corners and intersections across the Valley will be occupied by vendors selling last-minute gifts and flowers. Resist the temptation to hit one up on your way home from work, as the gift baskets they're hawking are cheesy, the flowers are most likely wilted, and it just screams desperation.
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