The Six Worst Things Oprah's Recommended
After 25 years of entertaining and influencing housewives all over America, Oprah Winfrey announced on Friday that the last episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show will air May 25.
No doubt a lot of Oprah's estimated 15 to 20 million viewers will be moved to tears (you know Oprah's going to cry), but we're sort of glad to see her go, if for no other reason than now we won't have to hear about what Oprah's recommending as the hot new thing all the time. Because, frankly, a lot of Oprah's picks suck.
From the ridiculous to the ridiculously expensive, here's our list of the Six Worst Things Oprah's Recommended (with video):
1. HairFlairs Feather Extensions:
The All-Star Comedy Explosion
TicketsSat., Apr. 15, 8:00pm
An American in Paris
TicketsTue., Apr. 18, 7:30pm
Rancho Solano Preparatory School: Fiddler on the Roof Jr.
TicketsThu., Apr. 27, 7:00pm
Beauty and the Beast by Ballet Etudes
TicketsSat., Apr. 29, 2:00pm
Thunder From Down Under
TicketsThu., May. 4, 8:00pm
This is basically shiny tinsel you wear in your hair. When HairFlairs co-founder Trina Marr appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show in January, Ms. O looked at the glittery plastic wisps in her hair and proclaimed, "I gotta get me some of those!" (which, to millions, basically means, "You've gotta get you some, too!") Thankfully, it doesn't look like Oprah's gotten hair tinsel, as she has yet to host her show looking like last season's Christmas tree.
2. Philip Stein 25th Anniversary "Oprah" Watch:
On her show, Oprah said she loved this watch because "It's great for going out of town." Good thing Oprah's got bodyguards when she goes out of town, because this beautiful, limited-edition, diamond watch costs nearly $2,500. Oprah reportedly earns that kind of money in less than two minutes, but that's probably more than a month's salary for a lot of her viewers. Did we mention the watch includes two O's on the face?
3. Lululemon Relaxed Fit Pants:
These pants are made from something called Luon fabric, which is stretchy and clingy, and the pant seams are sewn flat to look less bulky. The pants' big selling point for Oprah was that they create the illusion that the wearer's waist and rear are slimmer than they really are. But from the knees down, the Lululemon Relaxed Fit Pants flare out in weird baggy spots, so it also creates the illusion that a squirrel may be hiding behind your ankle. Oprah's big plug for the pants was, "Anything that cuts your butt in half should be your favorite thing, too!" We won't go there.
4. Classic Sparkles UGG Australia Boots: Nothing says "practical stripper" like a pair of warm, fuzzy sheepskin boots covered in
colored aluminum foil shiny sequins. Oprah's plugged UGG boots for years, and loves these because they're "so dazzling." Indeed, they're like chunky disco balls for your feet that still make your legs looks stumpy.
5. Oprah's film adaptation of Toni Morrison's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, Beloved:
Great book, great cast (including Oprah and Danny Glover), and a great idea -- but a very bad movie. The novel is very complex, spanning generations and with a narrative structure that jumps back and forth through the years, interwoven with dreams, illusions, and ghosts. The epic story's easy to follow on the page, but when "condensed" into a nearly three-hour film, it becomes an almost David Lynch-ian patchwork of surrealism. The movie bombed at the box office; Oprah's said she ate 30 pounds of macaroni and cheese after learning that Beloved got beat opening weekend by horror film Bride of Chucky. Check out the Beloved trailer below.
6. James Arthur Ray:
It's hard to be humorous about this one, considering Ray's currently on trial for manslaughter in connection with the deaths of two people who participated in his sweat lodge near Sedona in 2009. But before this self-proclaimed "Spiritual Warrior" and self-help guru held his fatal sweat lodge, he was all over The Oprah Winfrey Show, where Oprah plugged his books and philosophy (see video below).
When Ray was charged with manslaughter, a spokesman for Oprah told The Daily Beast, "Oprah has no personal or business relationship with James Arthur Ray. She, like everyone else, was shocked and saddened to hear of the tragedy in Arizona and hopes that a thorough investigation will help find answers for those who lost loved ones." Oprah has yet to apologize for letting Ray sermonize on her show. But how 'bout those HairFlairs?
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