December 19, 2011 | 12:00pm
Sure, it's a blanket as soft as a vagina, and OK, maybe you'd like that feeling all over your face, but for a cool $70, we can assure you'd be better off paying for the real thing ... or buying your girlfriend a really nice peace offering.
From the San Francisco brain trust that claims the blanket is "so soft, [they] couldn't name it anything else" comes The Vagisoft, a 54-by70-inch blanket made from the second-softest fabric "in the known universe." (No word on what the first is, or where you can get your face, er, hands on it.)
From the creators: "Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with "soft as a baby's bottom" as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something "softer than" the aforementioned infant's posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive. Then Betabrand researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter®, a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create a blanket so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be unwrapped from it with the Jaws of Life!"
The vag blanket is also 100 percent machine washable, which may or may not be exactly what your (ex) girlfriend wants to hear.