Top 5 Things to Do This Weekend

G.A.S.P (Girl's Art Show Project) @ Evermore Nevermore
From 6-10 p.m.
tonight, the eclectic downtown Mesa shop at 127 West Main Street gets an extra shot of estrogen with an all-female lineup of artists, including Jenny Fontana, Samantha Nelson, Jenice Grimes and Aleta Welling. Don't expect boring landscapes or painted flowers; the G.A.S.P. girls are hardcore, showcasing everything from creepy molded clay heads to H.R. Giger-esque paintings of dark figures in gas masks. Free admission.  

A.R.T.S. Clean-Up Day on Roosevelt Row
Picking up soda cans might not sound like an ideal way to spend your Saturday, but really, aren't you tired of seeing ugly, deserted lots in downtown Phoenix? The folks behind the A.R.T.S. (Adaptive Reuse of Temporary Space) project understand that the only way to get rid of the problem is to tackle it as a community. Spend a couple of hours cleaning up or spreading mulch between 2 and 6 p.m. this Saturday, March 12, and the currently unsightly dirt patch at 408 East Roosevelt Street could become the perfect site for a community garden or arts fair.

St. Patrick's Day Parade and Faire in Downtown Phoenix
The Phoenix Phreaks bicycle club apparently has the luck of the Irish this year. The group will lead the annual St. Paddy's Day parade (decked in green and riding tricked out cycles, unicycles and motorized scooters) starting at 10 a.m. on Saturday, March 12. Follow the route from 3rd Street and Sheridan up to Moreland; then head over to Margaret T. Hance Park, near the Irish Cultural Center at 1106 North Central Avenue, for more Emerald Isle delights. Free admission. Visit www.irishculturalcenter.org

Arizona Aloha Festival @ Tempe Beach Park
The lush tropics and sandy beaches of the Pacific Islands seem like a world away, but apparently there are more sultry hula dancers and thickly muscled, tattooed island men around than you'd expect -- at least this Saturday and Sunday. Activities at the annual bash include a Kenpo martial arts demo, coconut grating contest, native dancing and a Saturday night concert with indigenous artist Keali'i Reichel at Gammage Auditorium, 1200 South Forest Avenue in Tempe. Festival entrance is free; tickets for the concert are $10 and up. Go to azalohafest.org.

TLC Comedy Night @ Zendejas Grill
With the Bundegaard gun fiasco and the Coyotes' losing streak dominating local news, we could all use a laugh. Conveniently, TLC (short for Tari Lynn Crompton Biggs, not The Learning Channel) just scored her own weekly gig at 19420 North 59th Avenue in Glendale. Though most local comediennes we've seen could make Bozo cry, we have hope for TLC, who her former touring partner, Gallagher, deemed worthy of "her own sitcom." Cost is $7.


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