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1999 Stories by Bill Blake

Archives: 2001 | 2000 | 1999 | 1998 | 1997
  • Misanthrope Through and Through

    published December 9, 1999

    At three in the morning, I saw her drunk, writhing around on this fat guy. I looked through the window and there they were, starting to go at it... More >>

  • Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

    published October 14, 1999

    Here's to the girl with the little red shoes, She likes to party, She likes the booze, She lost her cherry, but that's no... More >>

  • I Stroke, Therefore I Am

    published August 19, 1999

    Wind-blown wisps of lightly graying hair swirl around the singer's temples and brow as he mewls the lyrics to his early '80s mouth-breather hit... More >>

  • Once Bitten, Twice Shy

    published July 15, 1999

    Trashman letters come in; bits o' luv, lots o' hate. But after I tossed the latest Jimmy Buffett dullard to the kittens in last month's column,... More >>

  • Jonesing for Joan

    published June 10, 1999

    The 16-year-old kid with the obscene acne problem and boring piercings said he had never heard of Joan Jett. He stood behind the store's counter... More >>

  • Arrested Development

    published May 13, 1999

    After 11:00 on any uneventful night, the bicycle ride to Circle K takes maybe 10 minutes, tops. And that includes stopping, avoiding eye contact... More >>

  • Where There's a Will

    published April 1, 1999

    The punches came hard and fast. The day hovered like a fucking prizefighter, and the springtime sun had plenty to do with it. So did the alcoholic... More >>

  • Guns 'n' Poses

    published February 25, 1999

    A gunshot blast is as predictable as nightfall now, and twice as evil as anything the night could otherwise offer. That metallic discharge that... More >>

  • Bad Medicine

    published January 21, 1999

    Jesus, I had never enjoyed a beer less. The stuff went into my overheated and plugged head, fizzed in the brassy confines of my mouth and... More >>

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