rss Email Author Gregory Weinkauf

2002 Stories by Gregory Weinkauf

Archives: 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
  • Orc Chops

    published December 19, 2002

    Fantasy is at its best when it ennobles our reality, and in this year's cinema no fantasy towers above The Lord of the Rings: The Two... More >>

  • Hot? Not.

    published December 12, 2002

    If you already know that female and male humans employ somewhat different strategies for relieving themselves of liquid waste, you're in for no... More >>

  • Bogey Blunderland

    published December 5, 2002

    The terror is real -- that of Miramax executives, anyway, as their Dimension division refused to screen its new creature feature Wes Craven... More >>

  • Like Father, Like Hell

    published November 21, 2002

    Christ is sexy. There, got your attention. But honestly, think about it: nice guy, pretty hair, carpentry skills, puts loaves (and fishes) on the... More >>

  • Wonder Boy

    published November 14, 2002

    So, you wish to know if Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is as good as the first Harry Potter movie. Is it as charming, visually... More >>

  • Queen of Pain

    published November 7, 2002

    With Frida -- the story of profoundly passionate and uncompromising Mexican-Jewish painter Frida Kahlo -- it's evident that a few folks in... More >>

  • Fly Spy

    published October 31, 2002

    Now here's an innovative narrative: Two shticky goofs of different races get stuck with a ridiculous mission and must overcome their mutual... More >>

  • The Scarlet Isle

    published October 24, 2002

    Listen up, retards: Killing time is over. Melt down your weapons, now, forever. Wouldn't it be nice if that sentiment echoed around the world?... More >>

  • Tapeheads

    published October 17, 2002

    Much like a psychic, a cinema critic must look throug h a movie and see the other side. In the case of the new thriller The Ring --... More >>

  • Ohio Players

    published October 17, 2002

    Honestly, I've never been much into schmaltzy movies about the old neighborhood. The whole scene seems pretty hellish; all that cutesy talk... More >>

  • La Isla Bonita

    published October 10, 2002

    "If the public's not interested, they don't have to buy!" sneers aging spoiled brat Amber (Madonna) to her uber-wealthy, idiotic friends in... More >>

  • Women Behaving Badly

    published October 3, 2002

    Ordinarily, it would seem pretty odious to put so fine a point on this, but what the hey: Gather up your gay friends, because here's a movie... More >>

  • Coward's Quest

    published September 26, 2002

    Although his name sounds like an inventory notebook for candy bars, Heath Ledger is presently overcoming this confusion -- as well as the plight... More >>

  • Ho Down

    published August 15, 2002

    Sometimes when a director shoots at a barn, the satisfaction comes in simply watching him hit it dead center. So it is with The Good Girl,... More >>

  • Powers Off

    published July 25, 2002

    Directed by. Screenplay by. With. . More >>

  • Short Buss

    published July 25, 2002

    Directed by. Screenplay by. With. . More >>

  • Sub: Par

    published July 18, 2002

    Directed by. Screenplay by. With. . More >>

  • Hot Legs

    published July 18, 2002

    On the first day (of opening weekend), the Lord said, "Let there be, like, this year's Evolution or sumpin', only with more hope for... More >>

  • Cosmic

    published July 11, 2002

    The first generation to be labeled with a letter suffered through some serious metaphysical shit in the '90s (if you doubt this, try listening to... More >>

  • Poi Dog Pondering

    published June 20, 2002

    It's a nice surprise when a seemingly innocuous cartoon inspires inner critical debate. For fun, let's let the coldly cynical voice speak... More >>

  • Oscar-Worthy

    published May 30, 2002

    The plot of The Importance of Being Earnest, for those unfortunates who've missed it these past 109 years, goes something like this: A... More >>

  • Dream Weaver

    published May 2, 2002

    Kick a boy enough times, and he'll become a man. The question is: A man of what sort? In his long-awaited feature portrait of the comic-book hero... More >>

  • Bard Company

    published April 18, 2002

    Sometimes genius draws nigh, mollifying the gnashing critic with the promise of wild narrative fusion, perhaps even rollicking wit. Alas,... More >>

  • Hairy Plotters

    published April 11, 2002

    Wending through the summaries of this year's forthcoming blockbusters -- dudes fight evil; chicks keep yanking up their trendy hip-huggers while... More >>

  • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

    published March 28, 2002

    It's readily apparent that Danny DeVito's Death to Smoochy deals with a thoroughly debauched children's television host (Robin Williams)... More >>

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