Email Author Gregory Weinkauf

2003 Stories by Gregory Weinkauf

• Upper Middle Earth

  published December 18, 2003

  You know how it's often the ones we love whose flaws are most apparent? Well, when it comes to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the... More >>

• A Long-Expected Party

  published December 18, 2003

  Not unlike Kurt Vonnegut, J.R.R. Tolkien remains a massively popular author whose seemingly "morbid" work often reflects surviving the horrors of... More >>

• Time Out of Mind

  published November 27, 2003

  Michael Crichton seems pretty clever. The doctor-screenwriter-novelist digs odd history (Eaters of the Dead, a.k.a. The 13th... More >>

• Kitty Litter

  published November 20, 2003

  If you're hankering for a movie about an awkward yet lovable "outsider" type who wanders into a pastel mockup of Middle America and cajoles the... More >>

• Shakedown Cruise

  published November 13, 2003

  Russell Crowe to his agent: "More Oscar-bait. Now." Agent, considering his cut of Crowe's $20 million payday: "Yes, sir." A possible scenario,... More >>

• Silly Humans, Matrix Is for Kids!

  published November 6, 2003

  Not terribly long ago in an uninhabitable galaxy called Burbank, a generally astute movie studio founded by four Polish siblings alienated a young... More >>

• Ryan's Hope

  published October 30, 2003

  Remember that silly little-girl version of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally . . . , snuffling "I'm difficult!" through a charming tantrum?... More >>

• The Big Bug Be Back

  published October 30, 2003

  Some movies approach perfection. Alien: The Director's Cut basically enhances a 99.9 percent perfect movie from 1979 with some digital... More >>

• Love and Death

  published October 23, 2003

  Sometimes something so wonderful appears on the big screen that I want to leap up like a shameless non-professional and hug it. Such is the case... More >>

• Saint Veronica

  published October 16, 2003

  Veronica Guerin isn't at all a bad movie, and some kind things will be said about it here. But cynical appraisal also has its place, so... More >>

• Groovy Ghoulies

  published September 25, 2003

  Somewhere in the deepest mists of Eastern Europe lies an urban hell shrouded in shadowy azure, where darkly enchanted, black-leather-clad denizens... More >>

• Angst in Their Pants

  published September 11, 2003

  Most will deny it, but inside every grown man lurks a hypersensitive adolescent girl. Allow me to tell you all about mine and to share some of my... More >>

• I Am Siam

  published August 21, 2003

  If, in keeping with current fads, you seek movies featuring females kicking a bunch of ass, your appetite will be tended (and cultivated) at the... More >>

• London Underground

  published August 14, 2003

  It's a great pleasure to behold a chunk of art that's both dank and fresh at the same time, and this appraisal perfectly fits the superb Dirty... More >>

• Le Fromage

  published August 14, 2003

  Ah, Paris -- City of Light, of Love, of Liver Damage and Lung Cancer. C'est formidable, non? Who in need of a posh vacation would turn down... More >>

• Captured and Enraptured

  published July 24, 2003

  "Simon must propose to me now," exclaims pretty, simpleminded Rose (Rose Byrne), "before he meets somebody else or gets to know me better!" ... More >>

• Reduced-Salt Dogs

  published July 10, 2003

  To prepare for reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I did the obvious research: I watched Yellowbeard... More >>

• Sidestep of the Machines

  published July 3, 2003

  Much like "hilarious Islamic comedy" or "sublime Affleck picture," the term "terrific second sequel" isn't bandied about too much. Name one. Took... More >>

• The Young Girl and the Sea

  published June 26, 2003

  Once in a while a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault the... More >>

• Brain Freeze

  published June 12, 2003

  There is a new movie out. It is called Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd. It is a prequel to the 1994 movie by Peter and Bobby... More >>

• Man Abroad

  published May 29, 2003

  Matt Dillon learned his lesson early: Suck up to the Hollywood fat cats, and you'll keep working. From his adolescent launch in the troubled-teen... More >>

• Mighty Mediocre

  published May 8, 2003

  Just to admit this up front, my ideal concept of musical comedy involves Bryan Adams and Dave Matthews garroting each other onstage with their own... More >>

• Violent Femmes

  published May 1, 2003

  At some fast-approaching point in pop culture evolution, we're due to hit Total Outsider Saturation, wherein everybody is an outsider and... More >>

• Bass Ackwards

  published April 24, 2003

  In nature, living things prey upon each other all the time. Humanity, on the other hand, has a choice. It's flouting this choice that turns on... More >>

• The French Conniption

  published April 24, 2003

  Imagine a large, dead Saint Bernard with its bones removed. Then visualize a hefty bellows inserted into it from behind, with a gorilla hopping up... More >>