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2007 Stories by Gustavo Arellano

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  • Walking the Talk

    published June 28, 2007

    A friend asked me years ago to come up with a Spanish word or phrase that contains fewer syllables than its English counterpart. After years of... More >>

  • The Neighbor of Your Neighbor Is Your Neighbor

    published June 21, 2007

    Dear Readers: Contrary to what some of ustedes think, racist gabachos or self-hating Mexicans aren't my only fans. Many of... More >>

  • Heard Mentality

    published June 14, 2007

    So often when we see Mexican bands perform in the U.S. and Mexico, the crowd, at some point, starts chanting, "¡Cu-le-ro (ass-hole)!" Why... More >>

  • Paso Doble Standard

    published June 7, 2007

    I was sitting around with my daughter and her Mexican husband the other day talking about her past. Jokingly, I mentioned that when she was a... More >>

  • Immi-GREAT!

    published May 31, 2007

    Has the 1965 Immigration Act proved to be a good thing or bad thing for America, and has the recent unprecedented flood of immigrants (both... More >>

  • What's Your Major?

    published May 24, 2007

    I was going through a local state collegeís academic program the other day and found that the school offers a bachelorís degree in Chica... More >>

  • Jumping to Confusion

    published May 17, 2007

    I have no problem with immigrants. My grandparents were Dutch on one side and Irish on the other — but they came here legally, through... More >>

  • Revolting Development

    published May 10, 2007

    Gracias, gracias, gracias for ustedes who bought the Mexican's book last week (deportation for those who haven't). I've done... More >>

  • Questionable Pronouncements

    published May 3, 2007

    Iím a gringa married to a mexicano and we have a 3-year-old son. His family is wonderful, for the most part, and they adore my son, bu... More >>

  • Book 'Em, Tavo

    published April 26, 2007

    Dear Readers: The Reconquista has arrived! On Tuesday, May 1, Ask a Mexican! comes out in book form, gracias to the literary madmen... More >>

  • The Charlie Daniels Stand

    published April 19, 2007

    Have you seen the e-mail flying around, allegedly from country star Charlie Daniels? Whatís your reaction? The Mexicans Went Down t... More >>

  • Relatives Can Certainly Be Taxing

    published April 12, 2007

    I lived here illegally for the first half of my life, so Iím very offended when I hear anti-immigrant comments. I especially canít sta... More >>

  • Yale Boys Get a Head?

    published April 5, 2007

    What do Mexicans think about President Bushís grandfather having a hand in getting the guy that robbed Pancho Villaís head out of jai... More >>

  • Jibes Sans Frontiers

    published March 29, 2007

    Why should Mexican nationals have more right to stay in this country than Chinese, Somalians or others who canít cross an open land border an... More >>

  • The Naming Debate

    published March 22, 2007

    Dear Readers: Muchas, muchas responses to my March 8 column asking whether I should keep this column's gold-toothed, mustachioed,... More >>

  • The Ropa Dope

    published March 15, 2007

    I am perplexed. I just saw a middle-aged wab (complete with a bright red, lipstick-accentuated mustache) wearing tight pink stretch pants with... More >>

  • Special Arizona Edition

    published March 8, 2007

    I have a major crush on a worker with the Mexican Consulate aquí en Tucson. But I fear that, like two star-crossed lovers, weír... More >>

  • Lying, Stealing, and Teasing

    published March 1, 2007

    As a kid, I grew up with Mexicans who stole things just to steal. As an adult, I see much of the same behavior from adult Mexicans and their... More >>

  • Three-Question Especiál

    published February 22, 2007

    Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger keep putting his foot in his mouth and talking smack about Mexicans? To my understanding, his wife Maria... More >>

  • Pass the Arroz, Chely

    published February 15, 2007

    Dear readers: Mucho comments about my February 1 column regarding the metamorphosis of Mexican names into seemingly wacky nicknames —... More >>

  • Special Sexo Edition

    published February 8, 2007

    Dear Readers: Gracias to all of ustedes who submitted pictures for my racist Mexican restaurant logo contest — they were... More >>

  • Nicknames Heard 'Round the World

    published February 1, 2007

    How do Mexicans get such ridiculous nicknames from seemingly normal names? For instance, Josť becomes Chepe, Eduardo is Lalo, G... More >>

  • Working Hard or Sleeping In?

    published January 25, 2007

    This November, a trusted employee of mine came out about his status as an illegal immigrant. Our big-box retail conglomerate's policy clearly... More >>

  • Brown Power

    published January 18, 2007

    I'm a 60-year-old Chicano and proud. Why do young Chicanos keep imitating blacks? They dress like blacks, talk like blacks, listen to black... More >>

  • Funny, You Don't Look Like a Pinche Gabacho

    published January 11, 2007

    Why do non-Mexicans consider it a compliment when they tell Mexicans they don't look Mexican? I am 100 percent Mexican — 5'7", with black... More >>

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