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2009 Stories by Nina Carapetyan

Archives: 2009 | 2008 | 2007
  • Christkindlmarkt

    published December 3, 2009

    We love the Christmas season here at New Times. Every winter we go for strolls along the snowy downtown streets, singing merry carols.... More >>

  • The Wages of Sin

    published April 23, 2009

    Gambling has a religious beauty to it: Blind faith, intense dedication, and a neverending hope for redemption form part of the gambler’s... More >>

  • The Sorrow and the Pithy

    published April 16, 2009

    Filmmakers are often perceived as supreme pricks, especially the ones who make short films in college. What kind of person casts an alarm clock... More >>

  • Bringing Out the Undead

    published April 9, 2009

    Your boyfriend’s favorite hobbies include Dumpster-diving for discarded meat and pretending he’s undead when you go for picnics. You... More >>

  • Tools of Engagement

    published March 5, 2009

    Back in high school, you religiously attended shop class. Your burgeoning teenage sexuality expressed itself through a profound fascination... More >>

  • Get a Clue

    published February 26, 2009

    Long-term relationships are like physical and psychological endurance tests. Misunderstandings are the bane of all monogamous systems, and you... More >>

  • Aggro Culture

    published February 19, 2009

    We all need outlets for our frustrations. Perhaps you print out pictures of your adversaries and tape them to your punching bag, feeding them... More >>

  • Flesh and the Devil

    published February 12, 2009

    At the tender age of 9, you accidentally wandered into a dark, secluded tent on the outskirts of an amusement park. There, you first laid eyes... More >>

  • Good vs. Medieval

    published February 5, 2009

    It’s that time of year again when Phoenicians suspend reality for the bustling world of the Arizona Renaissance Festival & Artisan... More >>

  • Err Martial

    published January 29, 2009

    For those of you who grew up in the 1990s and were fans of cheapo martial arts movies, you probably still haven’t forgiven Jean-Claude Van... More >>

  • Dude Awakening

    published January 22, 2009

    Brother Augustine III of the Covenant of Christ’s Flesh was once blessed with a vision of the true Heaven. To everyone’s horror, it... More >>

  • Restless Spiritualist

    published January 22, 2009

    One of photography’s powers is the ability to mythologize and exoticize space, inviting viewers to journey afar by psychic means. The images... More >>

  • Opposites Attract

    published January 8, 2009

    The last time you partied in Scottsdale, you intersected with a group of Amish teens on their Rumspringa who were imbibing silly pink drinks... More >>

  • Opposites Attract

    published January 8, 2009

    The last time you partied in Scottsdale, you intersected with a group of Amish teens on their Rumspringa who were imbibing silly pink drinks... More >>

  • The Extraordinary Ordinary

    published January 8, 2009

    Phoenix has a paradoxical appeal to it, much like the street hag on Van Buren with the endearing underbite. And although the city’s layout... More >>

  • The Not-So-Little Mermaid

    published January 1, 2009

    People are into some weird shit these days. For example, mermaid porn, which some viewers may see in Jessica Dolence’s... More >>

Archives: 2009 | 2008 | 2007
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