Email Author Robert Wilonsky

2008 Stories by Robert Wilonsky

• Tom Cruise Plots to Kill Hitler in Valkyrie

  published December 25, 2008

  Claus Philipp Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg — a lot of name for a lot of guy. Born into aristocracy in 1907, he was a soldier by the... More >>

• Yes Man Repackages Jim Carrey's Greatest Hits, Which Maybe Weren't So Great to Start With

  published December 18, 2008

  For so major a movie star — at least, once upon a time — Jim Carrey seems to make a lot of awfully minor films, several of them over... More >>

• Cadillac Records Can’t Handle the Truth

  published December 4, 2008

  First, a key spoiler: Cadillac Records is not the story of Chess Records, the blues label started in Chicago in 1950 by brothers Leonard... More >>

• Witherspoon and Vaughn’s Carol Is Four Christmases Too Many

  published November 27, 2008

  To brand, then dismiss, Four Christmases as a disappointment would be giving it too much credit. The story of couple Kate (Reese... More >>

• Quantum of Solace Gives James Bond a License to Bore

  published November 13, 2008

  Those of us who adored Casino Royale, the 2006 reboot of the haggard, self-parodic James Bond franchise, had some trouble trying to decide... More >>

• Role Models is Smarter and Bawdier Than Your Average Boys-to-Men Movie

  published November 6, 2008

  Paul Rudd wears the constant look of glazed-eye amusement; everything seems to tickle him, even that which annoys or frustrates or disappoints... More >>

• Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno Is Strictly Softcore

  published October 30, 2008

  Ostensibly, Zack and Miri Make a Porno should be money-shot Kevin Smith: Pals make a porn to pay the bills and, in the process of gettin'... More >>

• New York Cop Drama Pride and Glory Holds the Audience Hostage

  published October 23, 2008

  Pride and Glory doesn't make any effort to disguise what it is: a barely-held-together string of vignettes lifted from every cop movie ever... More >>

• Chuck Palahnluk’s Choke Adaptation Needs the Heimlich

  published September 25, 2008

  There's a whole lotta fucking going on in Choke, Clark Gregg's adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's first-person novel about a sex addict named... More >>

• Ricky Gervais sees dead people in Ghost Town

  published September 18, 2008

  It takes a good while for Ricky Gervais to warm up in Ghost Town; it takes even longer for the audience to warm to Ricky Gervais. During... More >>

• Rainn Wilson comedy The Rocker is more childish pop than hardcore funny

  published August 21, 2008

  The Rocker bears the decidedly unmistakable odor of something made in 1983 and left on the shelf a good 25 years. That isn't to suggest... More >>

• Hamlet 2 is tragically not half as funny as it thinks it is

  published August 21, 2008

  In its final 10 minutes, Hamlet 2 is little more than chaos, noise, and nonsense, and those are 10 perfectly enjoyable minutes. It's hard... More >>

• Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder takes aim at the movie biz but lacks firepower

  published August 14, 2008

  Early buzz out of Hollywood pegged Tropic Thunder, directed and co-written by star Ben Stiller, as the end-all and be-all of movie-biz... More >>

• Pineapple Express gets Seth Rogen and James Franco out of the closet and dodging bullets

  published August 7, 2008

  On the surface, Pineapple Express offers precisely what it advertises: a roll-'em-up, smoke-'em-up, blow-'em-up bromantic comedy from the... More >>

• Center of the Earth plays like a promo for 3D filmmaking

  published July 10, 2008

  At the top, let's be clear about one thing: Journey to the Center of the Earth is more a demo reel than a narrative feature. It's a decent,... More >>

• Hancock squanders potential greatness with lame humor and a half-baked hero

  published July 3, 2008

  The Sixth Sense, starring Bruce Willis as a dead man, was writer-director M. Night Shyamalan's breakthrough, but its follow-up,... More >>

• Pixar's Wall-E is a tale of robotic love that nods to sci-fi's pantheon of greats

  published June 26, 2008

  Many will attempt to describe WALL-E with a one-liner. It's R2-D2 in love. 2001: A Space Odyssey starring The Little Tramp. An... More >>

• Tae Kwon Do comedy Foot Fist Way stars cringe-tastic Danny McBride

  published June 12, 2008

  The Foot Fist Way has been trying to break into theaters since clawing its way down film-fest row, beginning at Sundance in '06. It took... More >>

• In the shadow of Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk can’t live up to its billing

  published June 12, 2008

  In recent days, Universal's been running a TV spot for The Incredible Hulk that gives away what should come as no surprise to any fanboy... More >>

• Kingdom of the Crystal Skull proves Indy should have remained entombed

  published May 22, 2008

  Here's your hat, Indy. But, really, what's your hurry? Because 19 years after the Last Crusade that clearly wasn't, and 15 years after the... More >>

• Patrick Dempsey tries to win over his engaged gal pal in Made of Honor

  published May 1, 2008

  In Made of Honor, Patrick Dempsey plays a conveniently rich and willfully single serial "fornicator" who is, slowly but surely,... More >>

• Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay in this forced sequel

  published April 24, 2008

  Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg wrote Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle with the novel idea: What if you made a John Hughes movie, but... More >>

• Baby Mama succeeds in reuniting Fey and Poehler but not much else

  published April 24, 2008

  Could have sworn I've seen this episode of Baby Mama before — like sometime in January 2007, when it was originally titled "The Baby... More >>

• Jason Segel keeps Forgetting Sarah Marshall from being forgettable

  published April 17, 2008

  Jason Segel is responsible for two of the most cringe-inducing, hands-in-front-of-your-face moments in the recent history of television, both of... More >>

• You don't have to be in Mensa to see Smart People's obvious ending

  published April 10, 2008

  Smart people got no reason to live — and, sure, that's not quite how Randy Newman sang it, but the point stands. Because in Noam Murro's... More >>