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2005 Stories by Robrt L. Pela

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  • Those Crazy Artists

    published December 29, 2005

    Hear that squawking? It's not The Bird. It's that group we've come to know as "downtown artists." This time they're not shrieking... More >>

  • Up in Smoke

    published December 22, 2005

    The Bird's been keeping a beady eye on the competition of late -- and not because it wants to learn how to bore its readers to death. No, this... More >>

  • Crystal Not-So-Clear

    published December 15, 2005

    Crystal Not-So-Clear The Bird wouldn't be surprised if readers who've been following New Times' series More >>

  • The Good Dr. Is Very In

    published December 15, 2005

    At last, a means of upstaging actor Jon Gentry -- whose huge presence swipes every scene in every play he's ever appeared in -- has been... More >>

  • How to Be a Choreographer in Five Easy Steps

    published December 15, 2005

    1. Begin, from your earliest days, to greet each moment as if it were an opportunity for a graceful expression formed by your limbs as a... More >>

  • Boobs in Scottsdale

    published December 8, 2005

    Attention, fight fans: The Bird would like to direct your attention to Scottsdale, where anxious strippers are gearing up for a battle that may... More >>

  • Dead Man Driving

    published December 1, 2005

    Dead Man Driving In one way, the ticket James Hamburg got for running a red light on Country Club Drive in October wasn't so... More >>

  • Not Bad . . .

    published December 1, 2005

    I usually wind up on the sofa every night, watching those badly dubbed episodes of Sex and the City that are breeding like rabbits all over... More >>

  • Erika Rolfsrud

    published December 1, 2005

    She's played Shakespeare festivals and appeared on soap operas and been directed by Philip Seymour Hoffman, and right now Erika Rolfsrud is... More >>

  • What's Eating Crow?

    published November 24, 2005

    Arizona State University president Michael Crow's stepped up his campaign to turn the most populous main campus in the nation into... More >>

  • Rite to Assemble

    published November 17, 2005

    It's getting near closing time at Tempe's IKEA, and Kelli Quinn is inching farther away from the front entrance. Like some lonely patron in a... More >>

  • Check, Please

    published November 17, 2005

    Okay, so it's a furniture store. But one of the most popular items for sale at IKEA is its two-and-a-half-pound bag of frozen Swedish meatballs,... More >>

  • Torturous Times

    published November 17, 2005

    Welcome to America, where our fearless leader's busy golfing and barely bothered by reports that the CIA's been hiding al-Qaeda... More >>

  • King of Comedy

    published November 17, 2005

    You don't have to know who the mad King Ludwig II is (he ruled Bavaria in the mid-19th century) to enjoy the naughty comedy of Paul Rudnick's... More >>

  • Damon Dering, Triple Threat

    published November 17, 2005

    You'll never find him, as Lee Grant famously uttered in The Valley of the Dolls, "posing undraped on the stage." But... More >>

  • Lactose Intolerants

    published November 10, 2005

    Until it saw some stupid cow with her left tit hanging out in the middle of a Target parking lot, The Bird was squawking with glee about... More >>

  • Gomer, You're Fired!

    published November 3, 2005

    The Bird's nested in Phoenix long enough to know that this place has its share of shady, self-important, half-witted yokels. Even so, it's... More >>

  • Mad for Blue

    published November 3, 2005

    Christopher, who may be insane, believes that the oranges in the bowl in the psychiatric hospital are a bright, luminous blue. His doctor, Bruce... More >>

  • How to Be a Drama Critic in Five Easy Steps

    published November 3, 2005

    1. Start out as an overly solemn and often pretentious child with a more-than-passing interest in Gilbert and Sullivan. Worry your parents... More >>

  • End Times

    published October 27, 2005

    I was walking out of Trader Joe's last week when an extra-smiley man in a tie-dyed dashiki stepped in front of me. "Would you like to invite Jesus... More >>

  • Private High

    published October 20, 2005

    There's a message folded into Armentine Duryea's The Sun City Cannabis Club, a self-published murder mystery suspense novel about a drunken... More >>

  • Austen Powers

    published October 20, 2005

    It helps to love good acting and the writing of Jane Austen in order to really appreciate Arizona Theatre Company's lush, immaculate production of... More >>

  • Dianne J. Winslow, Dialect Coach

    published October 20, 2005

    Actors far and wide owe some kind of debt to dialect coach Dianne J. Winslow, who teaches them how to say what they say when there's a an accent... More >>

  • Stray Cat Struts

    published October 20, 2005

    Perhaps the only thing more unusual than producing a program about 9-year-olds with nothing to live for is having actual fourth graders show up to... More >>

  • All's Wyatt on the Western Front

    published October 13, 2005

    In the bad old days, Wyatt Earp was -- depending on whom you asked -- a famed lawman or a rascally bandit. Today he's a brand of coffee and a... More >>

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