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2004 Stories by Stephen Lemons

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  • Queen of Siam

    published September 30, 2004

    As you may have gleaned from perusing this space previously, I take a dim view of conventional wisdom and the morons who spout it. Al Pacino's... More >>

  • Seoul Survivors

    published September 23, 2004

    What would you eat if it were your last night on Earth, and you could have just about anything you wanted? That's the hypothetical dilemma I've... More >>

  • Prêt-à-Porter Ranch

    published September 23, 2004

    Prêt-à-Porter Ranch It's a sausage fest in Old Town Scottsdale on this Thursday night. And the J-grrl and I are at... More >>

  • Tomato Head

    published September 16, 2004

    , Redendos Pizzeria and Pasta More >>

  • Lesbian Heaven

    published September 16, 2004

    With the J-grrl back in the saddle this week after her brief leave of absence (though whose saddle, I'll never tell), I decide to let the... More >>

  • Finding Nemo

    published September 9, 2004

    I'm no urban planner, and Lord knows I have no inclination to be one. But whenever I hear my fellow diehard metropolitans talking up the Holy... More >>

  • Raw Rasslin'

    published September 9, 2004

    It's a fine Tuesday night in the Zona, and Saddam Hussein's chrome-dome, um, brother-in-law Sheik Samir Hussein is getting his ass beat down by a... More >>

  • Baghdad Bound

    published September 2, 2004

    I've always wanted to summer in Baghdad, and now at last I can. No, silly, I'm not joining the Army National Guard. I may be the size of John... More >>

  • Posh Playas

    published September 2, 2004

    Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout: The Zona finally starts jackin' its game up to the minimum of what's expected from 21st-century party... More >>

  • Saigon in Scottsdale

    published August 26, 2004

    Nineteenth-century journalist, poet and author Charles Pierre Monselet once stated that "a true gastronome should always be ready to eat, just as... More >>

  • Motley Crew

    published August 26, 2004

    From the street, Tempe's Palo Verde Lounge looks like the sort of janky, pale brick building that might house a meth lab, a massage parlor, or a... More >>

  • Bravo, Blac-a-Zoli

    published August 19, 2004

    One dilemma I face as a restaurant reviewer is how long of a grace period I should allow an infant establishment before writing about its fare.... More >>

  • Catfish Connoisseurs

    published August 12, 2004

    Having spent my formative years in the Land Time Forgot (i.e., the South), soul food is as dear to me as pasta is to the Italians. How fortuitous,... More >>

  • Near-Perfect Padre

    published August 5, 2004

    Before I dive into this week's review, I should take a moment to reply to some of the correspondence I receive on a regular basis. To the female... More >>

  • Dog Park Decadence

    published August 5, 2004

    Looking like a cross between Jet Li and the Hives' Howlin' Pelle Almqvist, pimped out like his bandmates in a regal purple tux and a Green... More >>

  • Bamboo, Pee-Yew!

    published July 29, 2004

    A colleague of mine left me a copy of a certain publication the other day with the attached note, "Well, I guess someone feels threatened."... More >>

  • Drag-Stars

    published July 29, 2004

    So the L-word Mila Kunis and I are kicking it with drinks and smokes in that intimate Seventh Street cabaret Wink's, enjoying drag diva Barbra... More >>

  • Java House

    published July 22, 2004

    Burgs like Snottsdale and Parasite Valley may get all the kudos when it comes to living arrangements, but were I run out of central Phoenix on a... More >>

  • Where the Boys Are

    published July 22, 2004

    If it seems like the Jettster and I have been playing Mister and Mizz Humptyvision of late, going out a lot in the middle of the week, blame... More >>

  • White Elephant

    published July 15, 2004

    Descending from Pinnacle Peak the other day, after a repast at Sassi, the new, resort-like restaurant fashioned to resemble an Italian villa, the... More >>

  • Deep House Daze

    published July 15, 2004

    A plush, blue-lit chapel of sin, with a black square bar for an altar: That's Scottsdale's Next on the inside. Slanted wood beams give the... More >>

  • Billy Goat Gruff

    published July 8, 2004

    Those of you old enough to have lived through any part of the Cold War -- or to have suffered through a political conversation with a devout... More >>

  • Lounge Addicts

    published July 8, 2004

    I'm perched on a stool at The Merc Bar, a bucket of vodka-Red Bull before me, with the superstylin' sounds of Britain's Groove Armada pulsing... More >>

  • Savory Seoul

    published July 1, 2004

    I was in Tempe last week, sitting in a cafe and flipping through my recent purchase from a nearby bookshop of a rare copy of Valentine Penrose's... More >>

  • Smokin' Sandwiches

    published June 24, 2004

    So I was over at Mikey's the other day, doing bong hits and watching episode after episode of Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force,... More >>

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