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2005 Stories by Stephen Lemons

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  • The Razor's Edge

    published December 29, 2005

    Anyone remember Uptown 713, that ghastly excuse for a grub-ateria that once occupied a little shoebox-size space behind Apollo's Lounge, near... More >>

  • Christmas Carumba

    published December 22, 2005

    It's as if jolly ol' Saint Nick himself laid a massive Yule log right in front of my Xmas fir with a missive ordering me to burn, baby, burn.... More >>

  • Blue Grotto

    published December 22, 2005

    There's an open bottle of Veuve Clicquot next to us as we sip champs to the tune of the Shakira and Alejandro Sanz duet "La Tortura," deep in the... More >>

  • Pig Pickin'

    published December 15, 2005

    George Miller keeps the good stuff in a jug behind the counter of his small, nine-month-old Carolina-style 'cue joint, Restaurant 28, in a... More >>

  • Trill Thrills

    published December 15, 2005

    The Thandie Newton of P-town and I plan to stay fly 'til we die just like the Dirty South's Three 6 Mafia, but we also wanna keep it trill, y'all.... More >>

  • Lady of Spain

    published December 8, 2005

    When it comes to dining, or any other aspect of existence worth writing about, I consider myself simpatico with Ray Milland's quip in Billy... More >>

  • Oh, Fenix Fair

    published December 1, 2005

    What am I to do with a restaurant so studiously unambitious as the still-neonatal Fenix Eatery and Bar, ensconced in the small, dowdy "Arcadia... More >>

  • We Be Buggin'

    published December 1, 2005

    "Ready to wrap your lips around a hookah, Kreme?" asks the J-Unit as we worm our way through the party people toward the bar at Mythos, this fly... More >>

  • Crane & Q

    published November 24, 2005

    The ghost of Bob Crane led me to Bobby-Q, though the star of the '60s sitcom Hogan's Heroes didn't stick around to help me eat my ribs. I... More >>

  • Iron Chef

    published November 17, 2005

    Cave Creek might as well be the dark side of the moon as far as this city mouse is concerned. I know, I know. It's scenic and all that crap, but... More >>

  • Funktified Friday

    published November 17, 2005

    "Suck a duck, Jett, you're getting collard juice all over my brand-new kicks!" I yelp as the AC/DC Gabrielle Union spoons some greens into her... More >>

  • Spice War

    published November 10, 2005

    According to the Egyptian Book of the Dead, Anubis, the jackal-headed judge of the underworld, weighs the hearts of men against the feather of... More >>

  • Tasty Tuesday

    published November 10, 2005

    Now, y'all know P-town's bi-Kelly Monaco and I have both got us a sweet tooth or three, myself being partial to a pocketful of Abba-Zaba, and the... More >>

  • Hat Trick

    published November 3, 2005

    For some, the word "fez" might conjure up romantic images of the ancient Moroccan city of Fez with its walled medina and medieval mosques, the... More >>

  • Short Loin Legends

    published October 27, 2005

    Regarding the fleeting nature of human achievement, I'm reminded of the words of that controversial icon of early cinema, director D.W. Griffith,... More >>

  • Mercado Madness

    published October 20, 2005

    I've had it up to here with work, so I've decided to phone in my column from the thriving Mexican city in which I'm vacationing. I'm seated on a... More >>

  • Satan's Cheerleaders

    published October 20, 2005

    There's a whiff of brimstone in the air, or is it that I forgot to bathe? Sniff. No, it's definitely brimstone. The fires of hell lap around me,... More >>

  • Nighthawk Noshes

    published October 13, 2005

    If Gotham is the city that never sleeps, then culinarily speaking, Phoenix gets all its beauty rest and then some. The primary complaint I hear... More >>

  • AM or Bust

    published October 13, 2005

    "Kreme, we've gotta check out Axis/Radius this Thursday," the Jettster insists as I'm finishing off a plate of chocolate-chip brownies in my... More >>

  • Dragon Catcher

    published October 6, 2005

    Super Dragon, I know, sounds like one of those fantastic drawings Jon Heder does while portraying ultra-nerd Napoleon Dynamite in the flick of the... More >>

  • Bangin' Blow-out

    published October 6, 2005

    Less than an hour into our survey of the sprawling Scottsdale party palace Barcelona, and already Jett's bent over with a black gent's teeth in... More >>

  • King of Clubs

    published September 29, 2005

    Florida native Steven Rogers honed his nightclub skills in Manhattan, during the reign of Studio 54, and celebrity restaurateur Mr. Chow, for whom... More >>

  • Lady Luck

    published September 29, 2005

    Vivacious, witty, and easy on the eyes. Such is the appeal of Justina Duong, 31, owner of Cyclo, Chandler's kudos-laden Vietnamese eatery, a... More >>

  • Wild Card

    published September 29, 2005

    Bullfighter and backpacker Carlos Manriquez, 33, is the chef and co-owner of two critically acclaimed Valley eateries: Scottsdale's Atlas Bistro,... More >>

  • Full Tilt

    published September 29, 2005

    Phoenix has been very, very good for 28-year-old JX3. The Power 92.3 DJ moved from Denver to Phoenix to study meteorology at Arizona State... More >>

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