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2005 Stories by Stephen Lemons

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  • 10-Pin Pimpin'

    published March 24, 2005

    Some chicks just hate to see a man enjoying himself. And Jett, the PHX's bisexual Rachel Bilson, is one of those. The other day, I'm lounging in... More >>

  • Bulgarian Rhapsody

    published March 17, 2005

    A lot of what's appealing about greater Phoenix falls into the classic can't-judge-a-book-by-its-cover category. I don't mean the lusher parts of... More >>

  • Almost-Almost Famous

    published March 17, 2005

    "Jeez, Jett, try not to pull a Dale Earnhardt on our ass!" I croak as the PHX's sultry, bi-lovin' speed-demoness skids around a corner toward the... More >>

  • Shabu Debut

    published March 10, 2005

    Ah, the smell of chocolate and meat! Two great tastes that taste great together. Okay, maybe not. Still, this is what my olfactory nerves deal... More >>

  • Sex Club Shenanigans

    published March 10, 2005

    "No matter what happens here tonight, Kreme, we ain't knockin' boots," declares my sometimes Sapphic, sometimes stick-happy sidekick, Jett, as... More >>

  • Operation Oggie

    published March 3, 2005

    God, I could go for a pint of Stella Artois, or "wife-beater," as it's sometimes referred to in merry ol' England. I'm in a black-and-white box of... More >>

  • Studio Visit

    published March 3, 2005

    Jason Rudolph Peña, 26, is the PHX's kick-back Gustav Klimt. The soft-spoken iconoclast is known for his live paintings of ethereal women... More >>

  • Low-Rent Libertines

    published March 3, 2005

    It's midnight at Sadisco's monthly ball of glorious, gutter depravity, and the debauch is in full swing. Some industrial joint is screeching from... More >>

  • Embarrassment of Riches

    published February 24, 2005

    Some bastards have all the bloody luck. Say, a year ago today, you signed a lease or bought a residence near 70th Street and Shea Boulevard in... More >>

  • Chill Like That

    published February 24, 2005

    What's up with all the freakin' rain in this town? Sure, I'll be singin' another tune come August, but I didn't move to the middle of the desert... More >>

  • Thrill Near Mill

    published February 17, 2005

    Might there be some redemption for what I like to call the swill on and around Mill? As I mentioned in my recent write-up of Mucho Gusto Taqueria... More >>

  • Hellbilly Hank

    published February 17, 2005

    Right now, Hank III, son of Hank Jr. and grandson of legendary country music badass Hank Williams Sr., resembles an XY version of that hirsute... More >>

  • Sultans of Shish

    published February 10, 2005

    I have the funny feeling Mike Tyson knows something I don't. Other than how to land a right cross that'll knock a 230-pound boxer on his ass. See,... More >>

  • TNA TKO

    published February 10, 2005

    Y'all are gonna think I'm crazier than Houston plucking his eyeball out in that London hotel room, but I'm here to spit the truth like Twista,... More >>

  • Donovan's New Digs

    published February 3, 2005

    Does Phoenix really need another steak house? That's what pops to mind considering the recent arrival of the swank, upscale Donovan's near 32nd... More >>

  • Watt's Good for You

    published January 27, 2005

    Tina Tamrat Hildebrand laughs and smiles shyly when I play reporter rather than gentleman, and ask her age. This fetching little Ethiopian lady... More >>

  • Four of Clubs

    published January 27, 2005

    I reckon my cheeks are redder than Elmo's ass, the cheeks closest to my grill-piece, that is. It's a Saturday night at Tempe's colossal,... More >>

  • Taste Magnet

    published January 20, 2005

    The ker-plunk and whoosh is most pronounced right around the intersection of Tempe's Fifth Street and Mill Avenue, or, as I like to... More >>

  • Chopper, L.S.

    published January 20, 2005

    Call me cynical, but when someone approaches me and offers up a review copy of a CD unavailable in stores, the first thing I think is, "How many... More >>

  • Jules of the Desert

    published January 20, 2005

    Jules Demetrius, 35, agitprop maestro, poet-sledgehammer on the mic, is well-known to those in the know, whether it be from his live art and... More >>

  • Capricorn Clubbin'

    published January 20, 2005

    One of the most popular cats on the FM dial locally is Power 92.3's JX3, who keeps things fresh and fantabulous weeknights from 7 to 10 p.m. on... More >>

  • Golden Autumn

    published January 13, 2005

    I'm convinced there's a conspiracy of dunces out there, hell-bent on making the dining experience as consistently staid and by-the-numbers as an... More >>

  • Stingray Stung

    published January 6, 2005

    Sitting in the dark-orange, Dr. No-like bar at Scottsdale's Stingray Sushi, drinking a tall glass of Kirin draft and watching the promising... More >>

  • Red Bull Run

    published January 6, 2005

    If Inferno were to begin accepting commercial endorsements, like NASCAR speed demons or them ho's at the Olympics, Red Bull and vodka would be the... More >>

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