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2006 Stories by Stephen Lemons

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  • Farrakhan Follies

    published September 14, 2006

    Are the Navajo Nation and the Nation of Islam goin' on the warpath together? That's the scenario this carping canary initially... More >>

  • The Passion of El Cristo

    published September 14, 2006

    Starring: Jesus Cristo as Himself Danny DeVito as God, a.k.a. "Big Poppa" Sheriff Joe Alzheimer's and his... More >>

  • Loose Screws

    published September 7, 2006

    "Don't portray us as a bunch of wackos," 9/11 "truth" activist Kent Knudson warned this Walter Winchell of warblers during a... More >>

  • Juicy Taco Hell

    published August 31, 2006

    The Bird chortled its freakin' tail feathers off the other day watching Arizona's daily press get played like a $2 harmonica by billionaire... More >>

  • One Love

    published August 24, 2006

    So I'm minding my own business, lounging in my triple-XL Underoos, crunchin' on a big bowl of Cocoa Puffs and watching a rerun of the... More >>

  • Hayworth Hoo-Ha

    published August 17, 2006

    Is Congressman J.D. Hayworth a boob or an anti-Semite? This rascally warbler knows there's beaucoup evidence of the former, from J.D.'s... More >>

  • Batmen Forever

    published August 10, 2006

    I'm chillaxing at the bar in the revamped and newly het-friendly lez club known as The Biz, formerly Ain't Nobody's Bizness, which up until... More >>

  • Monument Valley

    published August 3, 2006

    Last week, this park-lovin' pigeon decided to take advantage of P-town's "cold snap" of highs in the 90s and flap down to Wesley Bolin Memorial... More >>

  • Think Pink

    published July 27, 2006

    Tricky T's on the tables at Camus this Sunday, dropping tracks as diverse as Damian Marley, Devo, Nine Inch Nails, and old-school Michael Jackson,... More >>

  • Big Mouth

    published July 20, 2006

    The expectations game can be as dangerous for restaurant owners as playing mumblety-peg with a 10-inch, razor-sharp Bowie knife. If you roll into... More >>

  • Candy Thomas

    published July 20, 2006

    Great Knights of Columbus, this carping canary can barely believe the scuttlebutt whispered in its ear-hole by a well-placed source in the offices... More >>

  • Harry's Taco

    published July 13, 2006

    Pink Taco is to Mexican grub what the House of Blues is to soul food, or P.F. Chang's is to Chinese. Each of these spots doles out eats for yupper... More >>

  • Molehill Mountain

    published July 13, 2006

    How often do you get to peep porno at a city attorney's office? This pervy pelican's referring to Mesa City Attorney Debbie... More >>

  • Organ-icky

    published July 6, 2006

    The late '70s. California. Macrobiotic cooking. Wacky New Age cults. Jogging. Yoga. Tibetan Buddhism. Jerry Brown and Linda Ronstadt. Uri Geller.... More >>

  • Faux Friday, Fools

    published July 6, 2006

    What with Hot Pink! having shot its last hipster wad at Karamba this past April 28, there's a huge, gnarly hole on Friday nights waiting to be... More >>

  • Tofu U

    published June 29, 2006

    I wonder if Damon Brasch could do for veganism what American Apparel founder Dov Charney has done for generic clothing: make it sexy as all... More >>

  • Pussy Posse

    published June 29, 2006

    You'll recall this squawker's scribblings regarding the whole Pink Taco brouhaha a couple of months ago. Scottsdale Mayor Mary... More >>

  • Iddly Ain't Piddly

    published June 22, 2006

    There's been no love lost between myself and those belonging to the Valley's veg-head clan. And I'm a big enough man -- literally as well as... More >>

  • Sid's Kids

    published June 22, 2006

    I don't know who's been peeing in God's Rice Krispies lately, but too many people I know have been dying. Seems like every time I turn around,... More >>

  • Paradise Regained

    published June 15, 2006

    Why have I been skipping around the office, of late, humming Iron Butterfly's heavy metal classic "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" as I go? Have I been... More >>

  • Fisherman's Boos

    published June 8, 2006

    A humongous Pop-Tart. That's what this marionberry cobbler -- named for a type of blackberry, not the erstwhile mayor of D.C. -- reminds me of,... More >>

  • Lucifer's Lookyloos

    published June 8, 2006

    Aside from the fetish festivities this evening, which I'll describe in a sec, Chasers in Scottsdale looks like everyone's friendly neighborhood... More >>

  • Guinea Piggery

    published June 1, 2006

    There are a barrel of jackasses out there in foodie land who insist I'm never supposed to visit a fresh grubbateria until it's survived six months... More >>

  • Bluntabulosity

    published June 1, 2006

    Before the P-town Rihanna and I get blunted at the four-year anniversary of the Dolemite of hip-hop clubs in the PHX, there's a little information... More >>

  • Sun City Thai

    published May 25, 2006

    I used to loathe doggie bags, mainly the way they stink up the sedan as you're motoring home with half a curry fermenting in the back seat. But... More >>

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