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2008 Stories by Wynter Holden

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  • Statues of Liberty

    published December 25, 2008

    Who doesn’t love a good portrait? The Two Fridas. Warhol’s Marilyn series. Jennifer Aniston’s nude GQ... More >>

  • Text Messaging

    published December 18, 2008

    In this age of illegal wiretapping and 9/11 conspiracy theories, it’s a wonder that Beth Ames Swartz admits she hides subliminal messages... More >>

  • Family Guys

    published December 18, 2008

    Brothers are supposed to armwrestle, throw punches, and fight over chicks. Right? Not so for “Molten Brothers” Kenneth Richardson and... More >>

  • Family Guys

    published December 18, 2008

    Brothers are supposed to armwrestle, throw punches, and fight over chicks. Right? Not so for “Molten Brothers” Kenneth Richardson and... More >>

  • The Sweet Smell of Excess

    published December 18, 2008

    The Joneses covered their house in glittering white icicles. You bought a blow-up snowman. They countered with a herd of lighted reindeer... More >>

  • Suburban Renewal

    published December 11, 2008

    The holiday season is here, and with it comes the one thing we dread most. No, not packed shopping malls, annoyingly chipper holiday songs, or... More >>

  • Queen of the Hill

    published December 11, 2008

    Ever notice how all of the holiday classics are dominated by males? Scrooge. Charlie Brown. George Bailey. The Grinch. So we were thrilled when we... More >>

  • Bounty Hunter: The (Shopping) Holy Grail at First Friday

    published Dec 05, 2008

    If you're looking for something different (read: not mass merchandised, made-in-China crap) for your sweetie, or Aunt Ida, or your boss, this is the last First Friday before Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwa... More >>

  • From BFE to PHX

    published December 4, 2008

    Whiny feminists swayed at Lilith Fair, angsty teens flocked to Lollapalooza, and metalheads banged their brains out at Ozzfest. The latest in a... More >>

  • Under the Skin

    published December 4, 2008

    What separates nude art from porn? The observer? The intent? Or, in the words of Family Guy’s Peter Griffin, “a government... More >>

  • Under the Skin

    published December 4, 2008

    What separates nude art from porn? The observer? The intent? Or, in the words of Family Guy’s Peter Griffin, “a government... More >>

  • Bust Her Rhyme

    published November 27, 2008

    Poetry sucks. Poetry was written by dead white dudes. Listening to poetry is like being forced to watch Lost in Translation ad nauseam.... More >>

  • Foam Remedy

    published November 20, 2008

    One will help you through a blind date. Five will make you forget the crappy economy. Drink 10 and that bucktoothed brunette at the bar starts... More >>

  • The Bipolar Express

    published November 13, 2008

    There are two types of people: the kind who alphabetize their CDs and the kind who lose their CDs under the pile of Burger King wrappers and... More >>

  • Good vs. Medieval

    published November 13, 2008

    There are so many things we still don’t understand: cancer, death, the popularity of Dancing With the Stars. When... More >>

  • Click the Bucket

    published November 13, 2008

    What’s on your “bucket” list of stuff to accomplish before you croak? Write a novel? Scuba on the Great Barrier Reef?... More >>

  • Geek Mythology

    published October 30, 2008

    New parents who say they’d love their kid to grow up to be the next Picasso obviously weren’t paying attention during their high... More >>

  • In the Heat of Fashion

    published October 30, 2008

    To you, “label whore” is a term of endearment. Your purse dogs are named Gucci, Versace, and Vuitton. We needed Sex and the City... More >>

  • Smash Mouth

    published October 23, 2008

    Remember when you thought you could change the world? When former tennis superstar Billie Jean King was 5 years old, she told her mom,... More >>

  • Barack the Vote

    published October 23, 2008

    If the presidential race were like high school – where the cool kid always wins – Barack Obama would be a shoo-in. McCain and Palin... More >>

  • Weird Science

    published October 16, 2008

    Except for Leonardo da Vinci -- who was clearly a mutant – artists aren’t known for their brains. Van Gogh had that little ear... More >>

  • Pumpkin Heads Will Roll

    published October 16, 2008

    To all of you transplants who say Phoenix is culturally and socially bankrupt, we say shut your trap and open your eyes. Indie businesses have... More >>

  • Positively Enough

    published October 9, 2008

    Know anyone who’s a pathological optimist, the kind who always sees the glass half full? Maybe you envy them. Or maybe, like us, you... More >>

  • City Slacker

    published October 2, 2008

    Ever been to one of those upscale art exhibits where you look at a Pollock-style splatter painting and think to yourself, “I coulda done... More >>

  • Beyond the Valley of the Malls

    published October 2, 2008

    Pop quiz: Which iconic image best represents Phoenix -- Camelback Mountain or a strip mall? If you said No. 2, you’re a... More >>

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