BEST NEPOTISM Phoenix 2006 - Don Goldwater
The word "nepotism" comes from the medieval word for political favoritism shown to the nephews of prelates. What Webster's dictionary failed to do in its explanation was include a link to Don Goldwater's Web site, where the poster boy for nepotism begged voters to do for him what his dead uncle could no longer do ? give him a political position he didn't deserve. Donnie is the nephew of the late senator Barry Goldwater, patron saint of Arizona. The Don explained on his Web site that he got a 3.77 GPA in information technology from the University of Phoenix. He also apparently has run every backwater Republican Party committee in the state. He's on the City of Laveen Planning Committee. He likes flying model planes and playing Ping-Pong. Great r?sum? if you're running for the Queen Creek Weed Advisory Board. But no, he wanted to be governor. So now one looks to his message. Don's slogan: "Goldwater: The Name You Know, The Name You Trust." Is this the Hapsburg Empire? Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico? Oh, sorry, Don. We'll speak in plainer English. Like, "Limited Government," "Economic Freedom," "Individual Liberty." This was Don's platform. This was Barry's platform of platitudes in 1953. Then Barry grew up and stopped running around America getting liquored up and taking pictures and started buckling down and suggesting progressive, moderate legislation that actually did real good for many Americans. Don, you are no Barry. Oh, and another thing. Barry is dead. Time to cut the cord. Or maybe you just need a name change. Most any name but Kennedy would be fine.