We can't stop watching Patti Kirkpatrick. We've tried switching. We tried Kent on 5 and Lin Sue on 12. Couldn't make it to the first commercial. We even tried Fox 10 News, but Troy Hayden is just a Patti Pretender. We want our Patti, and thanks to Channel 3's groovalicious variety-hour news format, we can have her for two whole hours every day. We love the stylish way Patti plays ringmistress, tossing out story after story to an endless parade of sexy bimbettes stationed to cover what's happening out in the world, or to Mike Watkiss, one of the few remaining old-school newsmen in town. And we especially love how Patti subtly telegraphs to her viewers that she thinks some of her stories are horseshit, which you'd never find Linda Williams doing at 5 p.m. Channel 3's tagline may be "The Place With More News," but we've permanently set our TiVo to KTVK because, for us, it's "The Place With More Patti."