Agence France-Presse effs up a très simple stick of type on mean ol' Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
So what do you expect from a pack of baguette-chomping, Bordeaux-swilling Frogs when it comes to producing a short item on our corrupt top constable Sheriff Joe Arpaio? If you guessed a slab of fresh, steaming pile o' merde, with Joe's mug perched atop it like a party favor, then you are correct, sir...
Indeed, this Agence France-Presse article, which was recently published on Breitbart.com, and has since been repeated as gospel by local Sand Land knuckledraggers, shoves its metaphorical snout so far up Joe's sphincter that the writer may be tasting chitlins in his morning cafe au lait for the next three weeks. (Chitlins are pig intestines, people, and have the sort of aftertaste that you might expect them to have.) Truly, even the infamous, and once-MILFy Lisa Allen, Sheriff's office flack and amateur canine groomer, couldn't have written a more worshipful ditty devoted to Maricopa County's Pennzoil-pated chief flatfoot.
The Brie-eaters' puff piece is titled, "Toughest sheriff in US vows no let up in immigration fight," and its buttlick lead pretty much follows this headline's direction -- straight down onto the proverbial kneepads.
"He's been described as Hitler and a member of the Klu Klux Klan [sic] by Hispanic critics and immigrant rights groups," reads the first graph of the piece, which thankfully for its author lacks a byline,"but Sheriff Joe Arpaio prefers to see himself as an equal opportunities advocate. `We lock everybody up,' he says."
And so the story goes, with much of the same lame, hackneyed bullhockey we've heard so many times before: pink underwear, Tent City, Arpaio's slobbering desire to incarcerate Paris Hilton (though she never got near his jails), more pink underwear, knee-jerk sadism, hatred of brown folk, yadda-yadda-yadda.
"Arpaio's last sweep sent 200 deputies, helicopters, and an armored car into a one square-mile Latino-dominated town, pulling over anyone with a cracked tail-light or a broken windshield," the Camembert-heads tell us, referring to Guadalupe, though they never mention the town by name, likely because they don't know it.
Of course, there were actually about 80 deputies present during the two day Guadalupe sweep. But hey, 200 sure sounds better. And never let the facts get in the way of a good hose job, right, Frenchie?
Then comes a prevarication so immense it rivals a Notre Dame-size turd floating down the Seine:
"[Arpaio's] public support -- 80 to 90 percent approval ratings in polls -- make it unlikely he will lose a campaign for re-election in the fall."
"80 to 90 percent"? No recent poll has Arpaio at that lofty percentile. Nevertheless, it is a lie that Arpaio and his bootlicking minions repeat over and over and over again, until idiots in other states and other countries repeat it for them.
Actually, there are plenty of home-grown, inbred idiots who repeat the repetition. And then there are others who lie online and elsewhere because they know they can with impunity.
But the truth is not difficult to find. An April 29, 2008 Cronkite/Eight poll had Arpaio at a 62 percent favorable rating. The poll initially misreported its findings at 69 percent, then corrected them, downward, to 62 percent.*** Though this would normally be considered incredibly high for any politician, they are a steep drop from Joe's heyday of 2001, when he enjoyed a stellar approval rating of around 83 percent, according to a KAET-ASU Poll, done by the same pollster, Dr. Bruce Merrill.
So the statement that Arpaio has "80 to 90 percent approval ratings in polls" is only correct if you jump in your time machine and fly backwards about seven years. Otherwise that statement is pure French poodle poo.
Breitbart.com is an online news outlet developed by pompous right-wing suckup Andrew Breitbart, whose claim to fame is having slummed it up at the Drudge Report and having appeared as a talking head on Fox's Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld. Why bother with the AFP, I wonder? Is it some sort of snob appeal? Or are they just cheap, Breit-o? Sheesh, the Frogs haven't gotten anything right since Brigitte Bardot first donned a bikini, and have you seen what that old bag looks like now?
***You'll have to look down into the poll at question 15 for the actual, corrected results, which show Joe as having a 27 percent "excellent" rating, and a 35 percent "good" rating of those with an opinion. Total: 62 percent. Joe's overall favorable rating falls slightly to 59 percent, if you include into the mix the five percent of respondents who have no opinion.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.