COED Magazine's "72 Sexy Reasons to Boycott Arizona," Gawker's Navel-Gazing, and ChuckUFarley's Insane Animation
The news has been such a downer lately, what with Arizona declaring war on Hispanics, the near-universal condemnation of Arizona's new "papers please" legislation, and a boycott of Arizona that could cost the City of Phoenix alone $90 million, that I've decided we all need some lighter fare, if only for one blog post.
First off is COED Magazine, an offering that publishes such breaking news stories as "Grannies Gone Wild," "Handicapping the Celebrity Death Pool," and "The Terrible Diseases Cartoons Would Have If They Were Real."
Now this, truly, is a genius publication, which reads like it was written by the folks over at Spike TV. And it may be, as far as I know. COED cracks that SB 1070 is "a totally reasonable law (if you happen to be white)," then it joins the boycott, and gives you 72 "reasons" why:
"So now, Americans across the country are encouraging everyone to boycott Arizona in their own way. On behalf of every smoking hot latina woman we've ever featured on COED, we're joining in on this nationwide boycott."
COED flubs the number of cheesecake pics it's offering you (it says 60, instead of 72 in the copy). But hey, no one's perfect. Particularly if you're typing while hitting the beer bong.
The Manhattan navel-gazers over at Gawker have been against SB 1070 from jump, bashing Arizona every chance they get, one pinky raised as they do.
Of course, Arizona's supplying them with plenty of comedic material these days, just as it is writers higher up on the entertainment food chain, like those at The Daily Show and the Colbert Report. So, you could say, Gawker's only half-participating in an Arizona ban.
Otherwise, the Gawkeristas say it'll be easy for them to join a boycott of Sand Land for the following reasons:
"We have effectively been boycotting Arizona for years by not thinking about it, or going to it, ever, so this should be pretty easy. And you're aided by the fact that most Arizona businesses suck."
Thing is, coming from trust fund babies who're probably proud they've never gone south of Houston Street in years, that fails to hit its intended mark.
If New York were still as cool as back when Woody Allen made Annie Hall, or when Sidney Lumet shot Dog Day Afternoon (even though that was set in Brooklyn), or Martin Scorsese directed Taxi Driver, I might agree with these nudniks that the world ends at the Holland Tunnel.
But these days Gotham's mostly a yuppie Disneyland for snotty rich, white kids. (At least their Gotham is.) The fact that the Gawkerdroids are proud that they never leave the island lessens any criticism they have to level, even if it happens to be valid. I mean, essentially, they're reveling in their own provincialism.
Farley's take on me and Sheriff Joe
Finally, I give you a YouTube video from Dr.ChuckUFarley's channel, which features yours truly and Sheriff Joe. You'll recognize Dr.ChuckUFarley's name from the comments section of this blog. And he's apparently so obsessed with me in a King of Comedy sort of way, that he's done several of these creepy animated thingees using the Xtranormal Text-to-movie site.
I have to admit, some of them are kind of funny-stupid, albeit crass and laced with obscenities. What I can't figure is, why don't haters like Farley ever have the huevos to use their real names? What have they got to lose, really?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.