Joe Arpaio, Kris Kobach and the Non-Existent Bomb
Ava, could you start the car for me, hon?
As much as many folks despise our ancient geezer of a gendarme Sheriff Joe, you have to give him props for his quip to a nativist rally for SB 1070 author and Kansas Secretary of State candidate Kris Kobach in Overland Park, Kansas yesterday.
The "Illegal Means Illegal" rally, attended by around 1,000 crazed Mexican-haters, was interrupted when a "suspicious package" was detected. In what the cops there called "an overabundance of caution," they used a water cannon to open the thing. Whatever it was, it wasn't a bomb.
The rally, held at the Ritz Charles convention center, had already been moved once from a local college, which decided it didn't want to deal with all the hoo-ha. Good call on its part.
"This happens quite often," he told the faithful. "I used to have my wife start my car."
Ba-dum-pa. The guy's a regular Neil Hamburger. Wonder if Ava's laughing it up at that one?
The assertion that such non-existent threats happen "quite often" is truthful, only if you acknowledge the non-existent part of that equation.
In fact, the only bomb threat I can recall in Arpaio's history regards James Saville, the dude Arpaio's minions framed in a 1999 set-up.
Saville sued the county in 2004 for false arrest after he was found not guilty in the bogus bomb plot, which reporters gobbled whole at the time. He eventually settled for over $1 million.
See, Joe loves nothing more than pumped-up, fantasy death threats made toward his person. Like, there was the time the sheriff's office spent $500K on an investigation of a fake hit job threatening Arpaio that supposedly involved the Mexican mafia, immigrant-rights activist Elias Bermudez, and the minutemen.
The threat leapt from the imagination of a paid confidential informant who lied on a polygraph test and later disappeared.
I once asked the MCSO for all the docs they had on threats to the sheriff. They coughed up a bunch of nothing: Some Internet threat from Canada; county jail inmates who'd somehow gotten hold of Arpaio's home phone number; and so on. Nothing in there panned out.
At least this non-bomb wasn't manufactured by MCSO goons. Although, you gotta wonder who left that "suspicious package" in the Ritz Charles....hmmm...
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.