Of this week's Bird items, the one closest to my evil lil' cardiac muscle is the victory over the forces of political correctness by "Dr. Jon" Basso owner of Tempe's Heart Attack Grill, where artery clogging ground round is served up by hot waitresses in skimpy "nurse" attire. Read all about how AG Terry Goddard's legal beagles initially did a knee-jerk over the matter, sending letters to the saucy burger joint at the behest of the AZ Nursing Board, demanding the grill quit using the term "nurse." But after the New Times and 20/20's John Stossel simultaneously bitch-slapped this lame attempt at enforcing speech codes, both the AG's office and the AZ Nursing Board turned tail faster than a Gambel's quail at the sound of buckshot. The matter's been officially dropped, and Dr. Jon's sails are plenty full from all the free PR.
The ginormous loser in all this is not the AG's office, or the AZ Nursing Board. Instead it's this tiny Maryland organization called the Center for Nursing Advocacy. This pesky little enemy of free speech is run from the comfy home of one Sandy Summers, who keeps house and tends to the needs of the Center while her more liberal-than-thou hubby Harry Jacobs Summers toils as an attorney for the Federal Election Commission. In his spare time, Summers -- who, uh, like a big ol' '70s-era lefty wuss, took his wife's surname --advises the CNA on legal matters. The Center is all about garnering publicity, because in reality, they have few actual members. CNA needs to seem to be more influential than it actually is so that the Summers can continue their little game of glomming on to some cause, announcing a letter-writing campaign, garnering press coverage, and then, if they luck out, getting their "target" to accede to their demands. They declare victory, and hopefully sucker in a couple more paying "members" in the process. After all, gotta keep the Summers' kids in Nikes!
Most of the time, however, the Summers' "campaigns" are humongo duds, like their aborted attempt to protest the Emmy Awards this year -- cancelled for lack of interest, or their futile lambasting of such popular prime time shows as House or Grey's Anatomy . They apparently would like nothing more than veto-power over the scripts for all such shows, something they will never, ever get.
CNA's latest crash and burn has been its campaign against the Heart Attack Grill's sexy nurse theme, that theme being CNA's ultimate bete noir. As mentioned, this battle is essentially over because the AG's office refuses to act, and CNA's activities have garnered a backlash in favor of Heart Attack Grill, even on CNA's own message board. CNA's most recent post on their website reads "Our campaign to convince the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona, to discontinue its use of 'naughty nurse' uniforms has received wide press coverage." What CNA doesn't tell you is that this press coverage has essentially portrayed the Heart Attack Grill as harmless fun and those opposing it as killjoys.
The CNA site is, however, a good source of soft-core erotica, featuring -- you guessed it, naughty nurses! Woo-hoo! The images are there to give examples of the sort of stuff CNA targets, and they offer a lot of examples, like the one above from some video game.
In previous e-missives, I've told Harry that he and his wife are PC dinosaurs, ready for the La Brea Tar Pits of history. Their tired, alter kocker view of sex and sexual images belongs in a womyn's studies class circa 1979. In time, CNA will whither and die, and Sandy will have to get a real job (sniff). Maybe she can go back to nursing (she used to be one), though to judge by that haggard mug of hers, a sexy nurse she will never be.
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