My Bloody Valentine: Tiffany Sutton's prior bloodlettings...
None other than "Mr. Mike," aka Michael O'Donoghue, renowned comedy writer for National Lampoon, Saturday Night Live , and others, once stated that, "I like my women like I like my eggs -- scrambled." And indeed there's something really hot about crazy chicks. Maybe it's the unknown, or at least the knowledge that they're sure to be bobcats in the sack. See, the thrill of bedding a real freakazoid is better than Cialis for the average man's libido. So the Valentine's Day arrest of Tempe witchy-woman Tiffany Sutton for allegedly tying up some bloke during sex, then stabbing him with a knife 'cause she supposedly wanted to drink his blood, has fired the imaginations of horndogs everywhere. Would I let this V-day Vampirella slash me with a butcher's blade and drink my life juice? Since her mug shot reveals her to be a gothy little wench, who reminds one of Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club, the response has to be, "Hell yeah! As long as I get to bone her afterwards."
Interestingly, this isn't Sutton's first run-in with the law. According to court docs I pulled today, "Tiffany Lachelle Sutton" (the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department spells her middle name "Lashelle") is due in court this Wednesday, February 21st because of a little incident that happened on February 5 in Mesa where she was allegedly "trespassing" at this dood's house. The summary of the Mesa cops says it all:
On 2/5/o7 around 0130 hours the defendant was at 1007 West Main Space 43. The defendant was asked to leave by the victim. The victim called PD to have the defendant removed from the property. The defendant told officers she was living at the residence and after an investigation of her story it was determined she was not living at the W. Main Street address. The defendant was asked to leave again by the PD. The defendant refused to leave. While arresting the defendant she began to struggle with officers, jerking and pulling her arms away from officers. The defendant was told to stop resisting several times and was advised she was under arrest for trespassing. While the defendant was being searched for transport, she began to struggle and grabbed Officer Waters' hand digging in her fingernails into his hand drawing blood and leaving cuts.
The report doesn't state whether or not Sutton licked the officer's bloody hand. (Mmmm, blood.) However, it does indicate that Sutton was under the influence at the time of her arrest, may be an addict, and was a transient. She also had a prior arrest listed for assault and disorderly conduct, and warrants outstanding for failure to appear. According to the court papers, she was found to be indigent and released on her own recognizance. Makes sense. After all, she hadn't been able to feed off one of her victims yet like Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger.
So, knowing all this, would you take this chick home, do drugs with her and let her tie you up? Uh, if there was a reasonable chance of getting into her britches, maybe...
And now for a little Hall & Oats:
I wouldn't if I were you I know what she can do She's deadly man, she could really rip your world apart Mind over matter Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart
Oh-oh, here she comes/Watch out boy she'll chew you up Oh-oh, here she comes/She's a maneater
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