Neo-Nazi Arizona: Upcoming White Supremacist Wing-Dings in Sand Land
You guys call this a mosh? I've seen old ladies do better
Sand Land continues to serve as the spot to be for neo-Nazis, white supremacists, and plain ol' racist nativists to party down. Just check out the above video for the 2009 Oi Fest, held yearly in Tonopah, Arizona, and sponsored by the local, pseudo-Klansters of the White Knights of America.
This year, Oi Fest III will bring you all the sieg heil-in' your tiny Aryan brain can stand, as well as some rather tepid slam-dancing to judge by the participants in this video. Sheesh, the Sun City Shuffle Board Tournament boasts fiercer moshin'.
And what's up with that dood with the tramp stamp? That has to be a first. I thought only chicks scored those.
Not that there's anything wrong with neo-Nazi homoeroticism. Back in the day, many in the SA (Hitler's stormtroopers) knew the love that dare not speak its name. You could call it a tradition of sorts.
Oi Fest III is scheduled to play host to such musical non-entities as Slaghammer, White Knuckle Driver, Enforcer, Stormtroop 16, and Max Resist on Saturday, October 23.
Twenty dollars in advance gains you entry. The White Knights are asking for a $30 donation at the gate, unless you buy tickets pre-show. Rumor has it that funds are going to a scholarship in Timothy McVeigh's name to assist whacked-out white trash losers attend rehab.
It'll be worth the price of admission, skins. There'll be more toothless meth-smokin' hags there than you can shake a Field Marshal's baton at, and plenty of FBI informants to boot. So get in while you can. Next stop, a federal or state pen of your choosing.
And like a bad rash, the National Socialist Movement keeps coming back to Cactus Country for more. On November 13, the group that likes to call itself "Jeff Schoep's Meal Ticket" will be at the Sandra Day O'Connor U.S. Courthouse to protest -- what else? -- female Supreme Court Justices with Irish last names.
Nah, they're protestin' illegal immigration, just like they were last November when they marched on the Arizona state Capitol, got owned by the Phoenix Anarchists, and ended up causing a car wreck in downtown Phoenix. See, Volkswagens aside, neo-Nazis drive worse than Lindsay Lohan after a snort.
Arizona's tourist industry may be ailing, but neo-Nazis love the place. I envision tour packages for aspiring Shutzstaffel. Maybe a meet-and-greet with Sheriff Joe and state Senator Russell Pearce could be part of the deal. That, and a ride with J.T. Ready in the Vekol Valley to hunt illegal aliens.
I'm kidding, of course, but not laughing. 'Cause it's too dang close to the truth.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.