Terry Goddard, Three Time Loser, Fishes for Suggestions on FaceBook: I've Got One
Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard wants your take on why he fumbled so badly against Governor Jan Brewer in the recent gubernatorial race. Well, actually, according to a note on his FaceBook site Terry Goddard for Governor, Terry's "taking a break" from FB-ing. So it's really Goddard's volunteers who are asking for contributions to a "debrief" on his campaign FaceBook page.
Since they're soliciting suggestions, what about a fistful of barbituates, followed by a fifth of Jim Beam? But that would be mean, and we all know Goddard's a good guy. It's just that there's no fight left in that dog. If there ever was any to start.
So avoid the Seconal, Terry, and do us all a favor: Resign from public life after your term as state Attorney General is up. You were a drag on the ticket, you pulled about 70,000 votes less than the Dems' state Attorney General candidate Felecia Rotellini, and you failed to properly exploit Governor Jan "We Have Did" Bewer's brain malfunction during the Clean Elections debate.
I know, I know, the Donkey-Kongs have a soft spot for ya. And it wouldn't shock me a-tall if they -- stupidly -- kept you around and tried to run you for something else, like Jon Kyl's U.S. Senate seat, as one commenter suggests, or even governor again. You know, for the fourth time.
That's because, sadly, Arizona Dems don't seem to mind losing. And you're the poster-boy for failure. So think of the party, and not of yourself, and disappear. Amscray. Make yourself invisible. Capisce? Don't worry. You'll be spoken of highly in the past tense, I assure you.
Because more's at stake here than just the party. The fate of Arizona is in the hands of the state Senate's redneck Stalin -- majority leader-elect Russell Pearce. And the Dems cannot afford to be led -- even titular-ly --by a massive milquetoast.
Actually, despite her loss to GOPer and AG-elect Tom Horne, I would argue that Rotellini should now be the Dems' titular head. After all, she's the top vote-getter in the state for the Dems, she scraps like a freakin' Tasmanian devil, and if 1070 had not been in Horne's quiver, she'd likely be AG-elect right now.
Sorry, but I'm tired of seeing Goddard's mug, and the Dems should be too, if they care to win some contests next time around.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Phoenix, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.