Kick the ball! Kick some ass! In this heat, they'll never last! That's what we're hoping, at least, when the Vancouver Whitecaps come down from cooler climates to take on our own Arizona Heatwave in the Women's United Soccer League's Western Division. The game, which takes place Friday, June 3, at Sandra Day O'Connor High School, 25215 North 35th Avenue in Glendale, is sure to be a showdown. "We are the top two teams in the conference, us and Vancouver," says Heatwave head coach Manny Arias. "So it's going to be an exciting game." The Heatwave looks to improve their 6-6 season record, but they'll have their work cut out for them -- the Whitecaps' record is 10-1, currently the best in the division. The match kicks off at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $5 to $10. Call 623-535-9171. -- Niki D'Andrea
Run, swim, run
Ah, yes, it's Thursday, June 2, and it's 5 p.m. Time to pack up, punch out, and head down to Tempe Town Lake for the "Splash and Dash," a 2K run and a 750-meter swim, followed by a 4K run. Of course, if you're not training for the Ironman competition, or you don't find night swimming for miles to be relaxing after a long day's work, you can just watch. Watching is free, but race registration costs $20 to $29. Tempe Town Lake is located at Mill Avenue and Rio Salado Parkway. The extreme athletics start at 5:30 p.m. Call 623-330-0913 or visit www.redrocktriathlon.com. -- Niki D'Andrea
Kamila, Mercury face Storm
Oh, hi, Kamila! Glad to finally meet you! We'd heard so much about you when you played for the defending WNBA champion Seattle Storm, and when the rest of us reported to Phoenix Mercury training camp in April, we thought, "Great, a low-post presence to take the pressure off Dee Taurasi!" You know, the 2004 Rookie of the Year? But then our GM, Seth Sulka, said, "Ms. Vodichkova is vacationing somewhere in the Czech Republic. She won't be here 'til June." And that sucked, but not as much as our inside game through the first two weeks of the season! Not that we're pissed at you, or anything, but girl, you'd better dominate against your former team on Thursday, June 2, at America West Arena (201 East Jefferson) at 7 p.m. We're just sayin', a'ight? Tickets are $8 to $125. Call 480-784-4444. -- Joe Watson
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